Search found 3048 matches

by GA Russell
Thu Dec 12, 2019 3:14 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 702
Views: 80698

Re: Joke of the Day

I have kleptomania. When it gets bad, I take something for it.
by GA Russell
Wed Dec 11, 2019 12:39 am
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 702
Views: 80698

Re: Joke of the Day

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later you're hungry again.
by GA Russell
Sun Dec 01, 2019 11:54 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: What are you reading?
Replies: 1170
Views: 133721

Re: What are you reading?

by GA Russell
Sun Dec 01, 2019 11:51 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 702
Views: 80698

Re: Joke of the Day

I hope everyone enjoyed his Thanksgiving! ***** Richard, a village doctor, was awakened at 4 a.m. to make a house call. He reluctantly got dressed and braved a snowstorm. After the examination, he told the patient to send immediately for his lawyer and relatives and friends and make a will. When he ...
by GA Russell
Tue Nov 26, 2019 11:12 am
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 702
Views: 80698

Re: Joke of the Day

Two prison inmates were standing in the cafeteria line getting lunch.

One inmate said to the other, "When I was governor, the food was much better!"
by GA Russell
Mon Nov 25, 2019 2:38 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 702
Views: 80698

Re: Joke of the Day

A man is talking to the family doctor. “Doc, I think my wife’s going deaf.” The doctor answers, “Well, here’s something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn’t answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this unt...
by GA Russell
Sat Nov 09, 2019 9:38 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 702
Views: 80698

Re: Joke of the Day

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided...
by GA Russell
Tue Nov 05, 2019 7:34 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 702
Views: 80698

Re: Joke of the Day

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that?" "Oh," repli...
by GA Russell
Fri Nov 01, 2019 7:38 pm
Forum: Shopping
Topic: ShoeboxShaveClub
Replies: 6
Views: 1192

Re: ShoeboxShaveClub

Today's email announced a sitewide 40% off sale.

It's "automatic," so I guess there is no code.
by GA Russell
Tue Oct 29, 2019 1:59 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 702
Views: 80698

Re: Joke of the Day

Ed, maybe I should have said the Ottawa Redblacks! The Toronto Argonauts have won four games this year, and three of them were against Ottawa.

*****

A cement mixer and a prison bus crashed on the highway.

Police have advised citizens to be on the lookout for a group of hardened criminals!
by GA Russell
Mon Oct 28, 2019 11:53 am
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 702
Views: 80698

Re: Joke of the Day

A six year old boy was at the courtroom when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy had a history of being beaten by his parents, and the judge awarded the custody to his aunt in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintaine...
by GA Russell
Sun Oct 27, 2019 1:31 am
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 702
Views: 80698

Re: Joke of the Day

A Texan was taking a taxi tour of London. As they went by the Tower of London the cab driver explained what it was, and that construction of it started in 1346 and was completed in 1412. The Texan replied, "Shoot, a little old tower like that? In Houston we'd have that thing up in two weeks!" Next t...
by GA Russell
Thu Oct 10, 2019 10:39 am
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 702
Views: 80698

Re: Joke of the Day

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, he motioned for her to come nearer. She sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got ...
by GA Russell
Fri Oct 04, 2019 10:15 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 702
Views: 80698

Re: Joke of the Day

Chap goes in to a bar and orders a vodka and coke. Barman serves him. Man drinks it orders another. This goes on for a while, until the chap begins to slow down. Barman asks, "Is there anything the matter, sir?" Chap replies, "I had an enormous argument with the wife. She said she won't speak to me ...
by GA Russell
Tue Sep 24, 2019 1:46 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 702
Views: 80698

Re: Joke of the Day

An elderly couple were driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer said, “Ma’am, did you know you were speeding?” The woman, hard of hearing, turns to her husband and asks, “What did he say?” The old man yells, “He says you were speed...
by GA Russell
Mon Sep 16, 2019 5:57 pm
Forum: Shopping
Topic: ShoeboxShaveClub
Replies: 6
Views: 1192

Re: ShoeboxShaveClub

I received an email from Wade today, saying that everything is 25% off.

In addition, he now carries collectible knives.
by GA Russell
Mon Sep 16, 2019 9:33 am
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 702
Views: 80698

Re: Joke of the Day

An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues: Man: "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I made love with each of them th...
by GA Russell
Fri Sep 13, 2019 2:36 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 702
Views: 80698

Re: Joke of the Day

An old priest got sick of everyone in his parish confessing adultery. During one Sunday’s sermon he told them, “If one more person confesses to adultery, I’ll quit!” Since everyone liked him, they decided to use a code word: “fallen.” From then on, anyone who had committed adultery said they had “fa...
by GA Russell
Wed Sep 11, 2019 1:01 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 702
Views: 80698

Re: Joke of the Day

A guy sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard, and sees a black mutt just sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the mutt replies. "So, what's your story?" The mutt looks up and ...
by GA Russell
Tue Sep 10, 2019 6:14 am
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 702
Views: 80698

Re: Joke of the Day

That's made my day, Jim!