At the pre-birth class for couples who'd already had at least one child the instructor raised the question of how to break the news to an older child. "Some parents tell the older child, 'We love you so much that we decided to bring another child into our family.' "But think about that for a second....

Happy Spring! This is apparently an English joke. ***** These laws are not scientifically proven, not theoretically reasonable and not professionally endorsed, but they are irrefutably true. O'brien's Variation Law: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one y...

Some of these make my head hurt! ***** How did a fool and his money get together? Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift? Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign? If it's to...

A diner at a country inn is shocked to see on the menu a dish of "hickory-smoked possum jowls in syrup." He summons a waiter to complain.

The waiter looks at the menu. Then he flings it down and yells to the owner in the kitchen, "Hey, the printers forgot to translate the menu into French again!"

Fact of Life: After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F.

For the first time in many years, an old man traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn. As he handed the attendant $1.50, he couldn't help but comment, "The last time I went to the movies, popcorn ...

The room was full of pregnant women and their husbands, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is...

Said the FBI agent to the bank teller after the bank was robbed for the third time by the same bandit: "Did you notice anything special about the man?"

"Yes, he seemed better dressed each time!"

Gary, after 5+ years, are the scents of your soaps holding on?

LOL Murray and Brian!

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I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

This may have been posted before. ***** A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly Gates waiting for them. 'Come with me,' said St. Peter to the taxi driver. The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion. It had anything you could im...

Squire, October 8 (1956) was a big day for my parents as well. As an early anniversary present, my dad bought my mom tickets to see Rex Harrison and Julie Andrews on Broadway in My Fair Lady. That was a very big deal to my mother. We lived in Boston at the time, and they spent the day driving down ...

I hope everyone enjoyed his Christmas!

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Basically, my wife was immature. I'd be home in the bath, and she'd come in and sink my boats.

Puns are always welcome, John!

Here's an oldie some here may remember.

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What did Lawrence Welk name his twin daughters?

Anna One, Anna Two.

I have kleptomania. When it gets bad, I take something for it.

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later you're hungry again.

FYI...

The Art of Shaving - $4.95

https://www.hamiltonbook.com/the-art-of ... -hardbound

I hope everyone enjoyed his Thanksgiving! ***** Richard, a village doctor, was awakened at 4 a.m. to make a house call. He reluctantly got dressed and braved a snowstorm. After the examination, he told the patient to send immediately for his lawyer and relatives and friends and make a will. When he ...

Two prison inmates were standing in the cafeteria line getting lunch.

One inmate said to the other, "When I was governor, the food was much better!"

A man is talking to the family doctor. “Doc, I think my wife’s going deaf.” The doctor answers, “Well, here’s something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn’t answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this unt...