Search found 3015 matches

by GA Russell
Fri Jun 14, 2019 6:53 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 628
Views: 71673

Re: Joke of the Day

So I walked into a this bar and heard two girls speaking in what sounded like a lovely Scottish accent. I said, "So, are you two girls from Scotland?" One of them said, "Wales, Idiot!" So I said, "Oh, I am terribly sorry about that. So, are you two whales from Scotland?" That's the last thing I reme...
by GA Russell
Tue Jun 11, 2019 11:31 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 628
Views: 71673

Re: Joke of the Day

Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him, and threatened to fire him if he didn’t do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill, and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well, and in fact beat ...
by GA Russell
Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:47 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 628
Views: 71673

Re: Joke of the Day

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.

"Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked.

"To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.

"What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"
by GA Russell
Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:44 pm
Forum: Shopping
Topic: ShoeboxShaveClub
Replies: 3
Views: 412

Re: ShoeboxShaveClub

Wade at Shoebox is offering 30% off sitewide. (My email does not mention an expiration date.)

Code: GiveMe30

He also has a Father's Day special for $70.00.

www.ShoeboxShaveClub.com
by GA Russell
Fri May 24, 2019 8:06 am
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 628
Views: 71673

Re: Joke of the Day

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn’t long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones was having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling insurance to nearly 100% of the recruits...
by GA Russell
Sun May 19, 2019 6:50 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 628
Views: 71673

Re: Joke of the Day

It's been a while since I've seen one worth posting. ***** A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to R...
by GA Russell
Fri Apr 19, 2019 4:49 pm
Forum: Cooking & Recipes
Topic: pots and pans
Replies: 26
Views: 3690

Re: pots and pans

Walmart is having a sale.

Lodge 5-Piece Seasoned & Enameled Cast Iron Cookware Set - $59.74
https://www.walmart.com/ip/Lodge-5-Piec ... /618435236
by GA Russell
Mon Apr 15, 2019 7:44 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 628
Views: 71673

Re: Joke of the Day

Weiler's Law: Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself. Law of Probable Dispersal: Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed. Conway's Law: In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired. Law of Drunkenness: You can...
by GA Russell
Sun Apr 14, 2019 6:15 am
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Is SMF losing its vigour?
Replies: 137
Views: 25804

Re: Is SMF losing its vigour?

fallingwickets wrote:
Wed Apr 10, 2019 5:06 am
We need more jokes!
17 thumbs up to that idea. who can we ask to start a joke thread????????? :D :D :D

clive
Thanks, Clive!
by GA Russell
Sun Apr 14, 2019 6:13 am
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 628
Views: 71673

Re: Joke of the Day

It was dinner time on a British Airways flight from London to New York. As the flight attendant moved down the aisle, she asked one of the passengers:
- “Would you like dinner?”

- “What are my choices?” asked the passenger.

- “Yes or No,” replied the attendant.
by GA Russell
Thu Apr 11, 2019 6:02 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 628
Views: 71673

Re: Joke of the Day

I've never understood why women love cats.

Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep.

In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.
by GA Russell
Tue Apr 09, 2019 11:26 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Is SMF losing its vigour?
Replies: 137
Views: 25804

Re: Is SMF losing its vigour?

We need more jokes!
by GA Russell
Tue Apr 09, 2019 8:17 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 628
Views: 71673

Re: Joke of the Day

It was autumn, and the Indians on the remote reservation asked their new chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was an Indian Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets, and when he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the heck the weather was going t...
by GA Russell
Mon Apr 08, 2019 1:59 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 628
Views: 71673

Re: Joke of the Day

Jennifer watched as the cashier rang up her purchases. "Cash, check or charge?" she asked, after folding the items Jennifer had bought. As Jennifer fumbled for her wallet, the cashier noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "Do you always carry your TV remote with you?" the cashi...
by GA Russell
Sun Mar 24, 2019 8:49 am
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 628
Views: 71673

Re: Joke of the Day

I saw a truck today. The side of its door said, Driver has no cash.

I'm broke too, but I don't plaster it all over the side of my car.
by GA Russell
Tue Mar 19, 2019 2:55 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 628
Views: 71673

Re: Joke of the Day

Gary, that's your best joke ever! ***** A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two young people show up. One is a good looking lad in his mid-twenties and the other is a gorgeous blonde about the same age. The circus owner tells them: "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious li...
by GA Russell
Wed Mar 13, 2019 2:24 am
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 628
Views: 71673

Re: Joke of the Day

A man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Bear Removers." He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes. The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat,...
by GA Russell
Tue Mar 12, 2019 3:27 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 628
Views: 71673

Re: Joke of the Day

A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. "What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?" asks the cop. "I'm a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act." "Oh yeah?" says the doubtful cop. "Lets see you do it." The juggler gets out and starts juggling t...
by GA Russell
Mon Mar 11, 2019 4:06 pm
Forum: Cooking & Recipes
Topic: pots and pans
Replies: 26
Views: 3690

Re: pots and pans

I'll have to remember that for the future!