Search found 2961 matches

by GA Russell
Sun Mar 25, 2018 12:15 am
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 542
Views: 49280

Re: Joke of the Day

The chairman of the board of our company called me into his office to tell me the good news. I was being promoted to Vice President of Corporate Research and Planning. Of course, I was excited, but that didn't stop me from asking for my new title to be changed to Vice President of Corporate Planning...
by GA Russell
Mon Mar 19, 2018 10:06 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 542
Views: 49280

Re: Joke of the Day

A student at a management school came up to a pretty girl and hugged her without any warning.

The surprised girl said, “What was that?”

The guy smiled at her, “Direct marketing!”

The girl slapped him soundly.

“What was that?!” said the boy, holding his cheek.

“Customer feedback.”
by GA Russell
Fri Mar 16, 2018 11:49 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 542
Views: 49280

Re: Joke of the Day

Advice and instructions taken from actual military sources. 'When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.' - U.S. Marine Corps 'Aim towards the enemy.' - Instruction printed on U.S. Rocket Launcher 'If the enemy is in range, so are you.' - Infantry Journal 'A slipping gear could let your m...
by GA Russell
Wed Mar 07, 2018 8:57 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 542
Views: 49280

Re: Joke of the Day

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor fe...
by GA Russell
Sun Feb 25, 2018 3:14 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 542
Views: 49280

Re: Joke of the Day

Hi, Fred, this is Alan next door. I have a confession to make. I have been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face, but I am at least telling you in a text as I cannot live with myself a moment longer without you knowing. The truth...
by GA Russell
Thu Feb 22, 2018 6:23 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 542
Views: 49280

Re: Joke of the Day

I have saved up a bunch, and I am going to try to post one each evening during the week, so that everyone gets a good chuckle to start his day the next morning. ***** This guy was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night in the middle of a storm. The night was roiling and no car went...
by GA Russell
Tue Feb 20, 2018 5:39 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 542
Views: 49280

Re: Joke of the Day

Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally, his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him. Little Johnny thought to himself that there was quite a large number of horses at this zoo. He wondered where all the other animals were, but was still happy to s...
by GA Russell
Mon Feb 19, 2018 8:32 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 542
Views: 49280

Re: Joke of the Day

Thoughts To Ponder They make bullet proof vests, why not bullet proof pants? Is there any difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny? How does one know when their bagpipes need tuning? Allstate Insurance has a disclaimer that reads: not available in all states. What? Is it really possible to ...
by GA Russell
Thu Feb 15, 2018 3:09 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 542
Views: 49280

Re: Joke of the Day

A man visits a friend recovering from flu, who says it's been a happy and wonderful experience. "How so?" "I've found out how much my wife loves me. She's been so pleased to have me home." "How do you know?" "Well, every time the mailman, the milkman or the garbage man comes by, she runs out shoutin...
by GA Russell
Wed Feb 14, 2018 9:35 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 542
Views: 49280

Re: Joke of the Day

A man climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai and gets close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks the Lord, “God, what does a million years mean to you?” The Lord replies, “A minute.” The man then asks, “And what does a million dollars mean to you?” The Lord replies, “A penny.” Then he asks,”Can I have...
by GA Russell
Sat Dec 30, 2017 9:03 pm
Forum: Cooking & Recipes
Topic: pots and pans
Replies: 12
Views: 806

Re: pots and pans

Thanks, guys! You've taught me something.
by GA Russell
Mon Dec 18, 2017 10:04 pm
Forum: Cooking & Recipes
Topic: pots and pans
Replies: 12
Views: 806

pots and pans

I have had lots of questions about pots and pans accumulate over the years, and I bet some of you cooking mavens know the answers. Why are we seeing so much copper in the stores now? Has something about copper items improved? Why is Calpholon special? Is there a better non-stick surface than teflon?...
by GA Russell
Sun Nov 26, 2017 9:34 am
Forum: Safety Razors & Blades
Topic: Dorco - $15 off
Replies: 7
Views: 1035

Re: Dorco - $15 off

Dorco: 50% off everything

Code: BFRIDAY17

http://www.dorcousa.com

ends midnight tonight
by GA Russell
Wed Nov 15, 2017 9:42 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 542
Views: 49280

Re: Joke of the Day

If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes? If an orange is orange, why isn’t a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow? Why does your nose run, and your feet smell? What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? What happens if you get scared half to d...
by GA Russell
Mon Oct 23, 2017 10:06 pm
Forum: Safety Razors & Blades
Topic: Dorco - $15 off
Replies: 7
Views: 1035

Re: Dorco - $15 off

I am now getting emails from Dorco every other week. Does anyone want me to post these deals? If not, I will take myself off their mailing list. Today's mail says "up to 50% off." http://www.dorcousa.com/sale-items-men/ No code. Expires 10/25/17. I notice that they are now up to "seven aligned blade...
by GA Russell
Wed Oct 18, 2017 8:42 am
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 542
Views: 49280

Re: Joke of the Day

An elderly priest, speaking to a younger priest, said: “It was a good idea to replace the first four pews with plush bucket theater seats. It worked like a charm. The front of the church always fills first now.” The young priest nodded, and the old priest continued: “And you told me that adding a li...
by GA Russell
Tue Oct 17, 2017 8:33 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 542
Views: 49280

Re: Joke of the Day

Dear Dad, $chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need. $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, Your $on Dear Son, I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNO...
by GA Russell
Sat Oct 14, 2017 8:42 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 542
Views: 49280

Re: Joke of the Day

A science teacher asked her students, “Children, if you could own one mineral, what would it be?" One boy said, “I would choose gold. It’s worth lots of money and I could buy a Corvette.” Another boy said, “I would want platinum because it’s worth more than gold and I could buy a Porsche.” The teach...
by GA Russell
Thu Oct 12, 2017 7:22 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 542
Views: 49280

Re: Joke of the Day

Thanks, Squire and David! ***** Things to ponder 1. I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. 2. Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground...
by GA Russell
Thu Sep 14, 2017 6:34 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 542
Views: 49280

Re: Joke of the Day

A lonely widow, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married again. She put an ad in the local paper that read: HUSBAND WANTED: MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70s), MUST NOT BEAT ME, MUSTN’T RUN AROUND ON ME, MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!!!!! ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON. On the second day, she ...