Search found 3077 matches

by GA Russell
Sun Mar 01, 2020 11:00 am
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 766
Views: 91786

Re: Joke of the Day

For the first time in many years, an old man traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn. As he handed the attendant $1.50, he couldn't help but comment, "The last time I went to the movies, popcorn ...
by GA Russell
Thu Feb 27, 2020 1:24 am
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 766
Views: 91786

Re: Joke of the Day

The room was full of pregnant women and their husbands, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is...
by GA Russell
Tue Feb 11, 2020 2:50 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 766
Views: 91786

Re: Joke of the Day

Said the FBI agent to the bank teller after the bank was robbed for the third time by the same bandit: "Did you notice anything special about the man?"

"Yes, he seemed better dressed each time!"
by GA Russell
Sun Feb 02, 2020 6:38 pm
Forum: Shaving Creams & Hard Soaps
Topic: I made this soap
Replies: 39
Views: 9202

Re: I made this soap

Gary, after 5+ years, are the scents of your soaps holding on?
by GA Russell
Thu Jan 30, 2020 10:51 am
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 766
Views: 91786

Re: Joke of the Day

LOL Murray and Brian!

*****

I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
by GA Russell
Wed Jan 22, 2020 12:23 am
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 766
Views: 91786

Re: Joke of the Day

This may have been posted before. ***** A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly Gates waiting for them. 'Come with me,' said St. Peter to the taxi driver. The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion. It had anything you could im...
by GA Russell
Thu Jan 02, 2020 11:48 am
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Autumn days and ex-wives
Replies: 47
Views: 9255

Re:

Squire, October 8 (1956) was a big day for my parents as well. As an early anniversary present, my dad bought my mom tickets to see Rex Harrison and Julie Andrews on Broadway in My Fair Lady. That was a very big deal to my mother. We lived in Boston at the time, and they spent the day driving down ...
by GA Russell
Sat Dec 28, 2019 12:03 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 766
Views: 91786

Re: Joke of the Day

I hope everyone enjoyed his Christmas!

*****

Basically, my wife was immature. I'd be home in the bath, and she'd come in and sink my boats.
by GA Russell
Sat Dec 21, 2019 9:35 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 766
Views: 91786

Re: Joke of the Day

Puns are always welcome, John!

Here's an oldie some here may remember.

*****

What did Lawrence Welk name his twin daughters?

Anna One, Anna Two.
by GA Russell
Thu Dec 12, 2019 3:14 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 766
Views: 91786

Re: Joke of the Day

I have kleptomania. When it gets bad, I take something for it.
by GA Russell
Wed Dec 11, 2019 12:39 am
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 766
Views: 91786

Re: Joke of the Day

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later you're hungry again.
by GA Russell
Sun Dec 01, 2019 11:54 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: What are you reading?
Replies: 1216
Views: 144717

Re: What are you reading?

by GA Russell
Sun Dec 01, 2019 11:51 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 766
Views: 91786

Re: Joke of the Day

I hope everyone enjoyed his Thanksgiving! ***** Richard, a village doctor, was awakened at 4 a.m. to make a house call. He reluctantly got dressed and braved a snowstorm. After the examination, he told the patient to send immediately for his lawyer and relatives and friends and make a will. When he ...
by GA Russell
Tue Nov 26, 2019 11:12 am
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 766
Views: 91786

Re: Joke of the Day

Two prison inmates were standing in the cafeteria line getting lunch.

One inmate said to the other, "When I was governor, the food was much better!"
by GA Russell
Mon Nov 25, 2019 2:38 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 766
Views: 91786

Re: Joke of the Day

A man is talking to the family doctor. “Doc, I think my wife’s going deaf.” The doctor answers, “Well, here’s something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn’t answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this unt...
by GA Russell
Sat Nov 09, 2019 9:38 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 766
Views: 91786

Re: Joke of the Day

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided...
by GA Russell
Tue Nov 05, 2019 7:34 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 766
Views: 91786

Re: Joke of the Day

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that?" "Oh," repli...
by GA Russell
Fri Nov 01, 2019 7:38 pm
Forum: Shopping
Topic: ShoeboxShaveClub
Replies: 6
Views: 2209

Re: ShoeboxShaveClub

Today's email announced a sitewide 40% off sale.

It's "automatic," so I guess there is no code.
by GA Russell
Tue Oct 29, 2019 1:59 pm
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 766
Views: 91786

Re: Joke of the Day

Ed, maybe I should have said the Ottawa Redblacks! The Toronto Argonauts have won four games this year, and three of them were against Ottawa.

*****

A cement mixer and a prison bus crashed on the highway.

Police have advised citizens to be on the lookout for a group of hardened criminals!
by GA Russell
Mon Oct 28, 2019 11:53 am
Forum: The Gentlemen's Parlor
Topic: Joke of the Day
Replies: 766
Views: 91786

Re: Joke of the Day

A six year old boy was at the courtroom when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy had a history of being beaten by his parents, and the judge awarded the custody to his aunt in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintaine...