SMF

This may have been posted before. ***** A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly Gates waiting for them. 'Come with me,' said St. Peter to the taxi driver. The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion. It had anything you could im...

Squire, October 8 (1956) was a big day for my parents as well. As an early anniversary present, my dad bought my mom tickets to see Rex Harrison and Julie Andrews on Broadway in My Fair Lady. That was a very big deal to my mother. We lived in Boston at the time, and they spent the day driving down ...

I hope everyone enjoyed his Christmas!

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Basically, my wife was immature. I'd be home in the bath, and she'd come in and sink my boats.

Puns are always welcome, John!

Here's an oldie some here may remember.

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What did Lawrence Welk name his twin daughters?

Anna One, Anna Two.

I have kleptomania. When it gets bad, I take something for it.

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later you're hungry again.

FYI...

The Art of Shaving - $4.95

https://www.hamiltonbook.com/the-art-of ... -hardbound

I hope everyone enjoyed his Thanksgiving! ***** Richard, a village doctor, was awakened at 4 a.m. to make a house call. He reluctantly got dressed and braved a snowstorm. After the examination, he told the patient to send immediately for his lawyer and relatives and friends and make a will. When he ...

Two prison inmates were standing in the cafeteria line getting lunch.

One inmate said to the other, "When I was governor, the food was much better!"

A man is talking to the family doctor. “Doc, I think my wife’s going deaf.” The doctor answers, “Well, here’s something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn’t answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this unt...

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided...

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that?" &...

Today's email announced a sitewide 40% off sale.

It's "automatic," so I guess there is no code.

Ed, maybe I should have said the Ottawa Redblacks! The Toronto Argonauts have won four games this year, and three of them were against Ottawa.

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A cement mixer and a prison bus crashed on the highway.

Police have advised citizens to be on the lookout for a group of hardened criminals!

A six year old boy was at the courtroom when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy had a history of being beaten by his parents, and the judge awarded the custody to his aunt in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintaine...

A Texan was taking a taxi tour of London. As they went by the Tower of London the cab driver explained what it was, and that construction of it started in 1346 and was completed in 1412. The Texan replied, "Shoot, a little old tower like that? In Houston we'd have that thing up in two weeks!&qu...

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, he motioned for her to come nearer. She sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I...

Chap goes in to a bar and orders a vodka and coke. Barman serves him. Man drinks it orders another. This goes on for a while, until the chap begins to slow down. Barman asks, "Is there anything the matter, sir?" Chap replies, "I had an enormous argument with the wife. She said she won...

An elderly couple were driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer said, “Ma’am, did you know you were speeding?” The woman, hard of hearing, turns to her husband and asks, “What did he say?” The old man yells, “He says you were speed...

I received an email from Wade today, saying that everything is 25% off.

In addition, he now carries collectible knives.