Joke of the Day

Feel free to post anything unrelated to wet shaving or men's grooming (I.e. cars, watches, pens, leather goods. You know, the finer things of life).
CMur12
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by CMur12 »

I like that one, too, John!

- Murray
Give me Soap or give me death!
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by brothers »

Why did Batman and Robin quit going fishing together?
Why?
Because Robin ate all the worms!

Little Eddy and his mom were digging for fishing bait in the garden. Uncovering a many-legged creature, Eddy proudly dangled it before his mom. “No, honey, it won’t do for bait,” she said. “It’s not an earthworm.” “It’s not?” Eddy asked, his eyes wide. “What planet is it from?”

Why didn’t Noah do much fishing on the ark?
Search me. Why?
He had only two worms.

How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
I don’t know. How?
By golf carp!

Where do fish keep their money?
Where?
In a riverbank.

A monastery is in financial trouble, so it goes into the fish-and-chips business to raise money. One night a customer knocks on its door. A monk answers. The customer asks, “Are you the fish friar?” “No,” he replies. “I’m the chip monk.”

Waiter, waiter, what’s wrong with this fish?
Long time no sea, sir.

What does every fisherman want?
What?
A gillfriend.
Gary

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GA Russell
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by GA Russell »

We used to terrorize our babysitters when I was little, except for my grandfather because he used to read to us from his will.
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fallingwickets
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by fallingwickets »

:D :D
de gustibus non est disputandum
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GA Russell
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by GA Russell »

I'm still looking for more British gags.

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I think that's why they fly into windows. It's their only way out.
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John Rose
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by John Rose »

GA Russell wrote: Tue Sep 08, 2020 1:46 pm I'm still looking for more British gags.
An oddly specific kink, but here ya go:
Image

I was hoping to find one with a Union Jack.
"If this isn't nice, then what is?" - Kurt Vonnegut's Uncle Alex
CMur12
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by CMur12 »

John, I really appreciate the many illustrations you provide along with your knowledgeable feedback.

- Murray
Give me Soap or give me death!
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kronos9
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by kronos9 »

Tommy, Quadrophenia, and The Wall. no collection is complete without them. Don't start me on Pink Floyd. Incredible stuff.
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by drmoss_ca »

kronos9 wrote: Sat Sep 12, 2020 7:49 am Tommy, Quadrophenia, and The Wall. no collection is complete without them. Don't start me on Pink Floyd. Incredible stuff.
No need. Pink Floyd make The Who appear like a teenage school band. Those of us who grew up with 'prog rock' and 'concept albums' need have no shame for enjoying them. Teenage brains are impressionable, and such impressions last. That's why current/recent teenagers think rap and hip-hop are actually music.
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GA Russell
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by GA Russell »

My last credit card bill was so big I heard a drum roll when I opened it.
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by GA Russell »

I'm in a long term relationship with Citibank Visa. They call me all the time.

I think they just want me to feel loved.

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People are now going on dates at coffee bars.

This is the worst idea. Four cappuccinos later, your date doesn't look any better.

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All my doctor does is send me to other doctors.

I don't know if he's a real doctor or a booking agent.

*****

Canada is a country without a cuisine.

When was the last time you went out for Canadian?

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I enjoy yoga.

I enjoy any exercise where you get to lie down on the floor and go to sleep.
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by brothers »

1. What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Thunderwear.

2. What do kids play when they can’t play with a phone?
Bored games.

3. What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?
PRIME-mates.

4. What do birds give out on Halloween?
Tweets.

5. Why was the weightlifter upset?
She worked with dumbbells.

6. Why are teddy bears never hungry?
They’re always stuffed!

7. What did the policeman say to his tummy?
Freeze. You’re under a vest.

8. What does one volcano say to the other?
I lava you!

9. What event do spiders love to attend?
Webbings.
Gary

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John Rose
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by John Rose »

CMur12 wrote: Fri Sep 11, 2020 9:31 pm John, I really appreciate the many illustrations you provide along with your knowledgeable feedback.
The last panel is my motto.
Image
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by brothers »

:D Funny!
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