Joke of the Day

Feel free to post anything unrelated to wet shaving or men's grooming (I.e. cars, watches, pens, leather goods. You know, the finer things of life).
CMur12
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by CMur12 »

The mailman does seem to get around! That was a good one.

As for the second joke about mono-lingual English speakers, I'm afraid that is sadly too true.

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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by brothers »

Why don't monsters eat clowns?

They taste funny!
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by brothers »

If con is the opposite of pro, then is Congress the opposite of progress? :D
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GA Russell
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by GA Russell »

Thanks, Gary!

*****

I went to my local bookstore, and asked the owner for Trump’s new book on illegal immigration.

He said, “Get the hell out and don’t come back.”

I said, “Yes, that’s the one. Do you have it in paperback?”
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by brothers »

:D :D :D
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fallingwickets
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by fallingwickets »

:D :D :D nice find!
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by brothers »

Two hats on the rack having a conversation ---

"You hang around. I'm going on ahead."
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by fallingwickets »

cant help but smile!
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Tom Dolty
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Tom Dolty »

"Smiles" is the longest word in English.
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by brothers »

Tom, welcome to SMF! It took me a few moments to figure that one out.😁
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by GA Russell »

A man was in a terrible accident, and his 'manhood' was mangled and torn from his body.

His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for 'small, $6,500 for 'medium, and $14,000 for 'large.'

The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected.

'Well, what have the two of you decided?' asked the doctor.

'She'd rather remodel the kitchen.'
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by fallingwickets »

LOL :D :D :D :D
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by brothers »

How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb a tree and act like a nut!
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by fallingwickets »

:D good one Gary only made funnier by the fact that my dog has decided, out of the blue, that every squirrel must be chased up a tree...she has turned into a total nutcase

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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by brothers »

:lol: Clive, as the saying goes, fact is stranger than fiction. I like that dog! :lol:
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by GA Russell »

Two men are walking a doberman and a chihuahua when they see a restaurant.

They're pretty hungry, so they decide to head in for a bite to eat. Unfortunately, they see a sign out front that says, "NO DOGS ALLOWED."

The man with the doberman says "I know what to do, just follow my lead." He throws on a pair of sunglasses and walks in.

The waiter tells him "I'm sorry sir, we don't allow dogs here." The man says "Oh, you don't understand. I'm blind and this is my guide dog."

"A doberman for a guide dog?" The waiter asks, skeptical.

"Yes." The man replies. "Dobermans are very loyal. They're easy to train and protective too. They're born for the job."

The waiter sighs and leads the man to a table.

The second man, excited by this idea, throws on his sunglasses and walks in.

The waiter tells him "I'm sorry sir, we don't allow dogs here." The man says "Oh, you don't understand. I'm blind and this is my guide dog."

"A chihuahua for a guide dog?" The waiter asks.

"A chihuahua?" The man asks. "They gave me a chihuahua?!?"
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by brothers »

This is a good one! Made me laugh. :) So did my wife.
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GA Russell
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by GA Russell »

Gary, I hope she likes this one!

*****

A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn't want to pay up. What should I do?"

"Do you have any proof?" asked the lawyer.

"Nope," replied the man.

"Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $1000 he owes you," said the lawyer.

"But it's only $500," replied the man.

"Precisely. That's what he will reply, and we will have the proof we need to nail him."
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by brothers »

:D It is a clever move in the game, but I'd never tell a client to mail an intentionally false demand for an amount exceeding what is owed and threatening to take action to get it. Prosecutors get excited about mail fraud and or extortion (and particularly are enraged by lawyers - soon to be disbarred - who encourage and participate in the scheme)! :x Yes, the letter is the proof, but not against the debtor. :shock:
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