Need help with English text - URGENT

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 6:57 am

paero123 wrote:Ben,

I asked her again and she meant Swarovski crystals and cultured pearls are the only stones she uses in her pieces. She was told she needs to inform her customers what stones, precius metals the items are made of...

Congratulations on your purchase of this unique, handmade jewelry. The artisan who crafted the piece practices traditional Polish goldsmithing techniques. The jewelry is made of silver that bears the 925 hallmark, and the silver is covered in red gold, which ensures exceptional durability, longevity, and colorfastness. All jewelry is appointed with luxurious Swarovski crystal and the finest cultured pearls. We recommend that you prevent the jewelry from coming in contact with perfumes, cosmetics, and salt water.

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 6:57 am

wenestvedt wrote:Ban, that sounds great -- I think I want to order one now! Do you accept credit cards? :7)

I do.

wenestvedt · Post by **wenestvedt** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 7:02 am

Well, then, the next time I cancel one, I'll mail it off to you! *rimshot*

I will cede the field: my hastily dashed-off version from yesterday morning is no match for your well-honed text. Well done!

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 7:22 am

wenestvedt wrote:Well, then, the next time I cancel one, I'll mail it off to you! *rimshot*

I will cede the field: my hastily dashed-off version from yesterday morning is no match for your well-honed text. Well done!

Blah. You're a good egg too.

DEF · Post by **DEF** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 12:40 pm

EDIT: Damn, I added this after I read the first page; I didn't realize this went on for 3 pages. Please excuse/disregard my untimely posting.

Doug

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here's my shot, adapted from Ben...

Congratulations on your purchase of this distinctive jewelry, hand-crafted in a traditional Polish pattern. This piece features first-quality stones and red gold plating over a .925 silver core. We have taken every effort to produce a piece of lifetime service and beauty; we do recommend, however, that you keep your jewelry out of direct contact with perfumes, cosmetics, and salt water.

I like the word "service," which to me invokes class -- "tea service," "Her Majesty's service," etc.

Doug

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 12:41 pm

DEF wrote:I like the word "service," which to me invokes class -- "tea service," "Her Majesty's service," etc.

Doug

Lip service, room service...

wenestvedt · Post by **wenestvedt** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 7:11 pm

Isn't "service" a farming term for what a bull does to cows?

SteveK · Post by **SteveK** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 8:03 pm

Ben,

Bravo! I think Strunk & White would be very proud.

Steve

Bargepole · Post by **Bargepole** » Sat Nov 04, 2006 5:10 pm

wenestvedt wrote:
Bargepole wrote:"Dear Customer: Purest red gold enrobes and protects the silver heart of your jewellery, handmade using finest stones and crystals in the Polish artisanal tradition. To preserve its unique beauty we recommend keeping it away from contact with perfumes, cosmetics and salt water."
Oh, I bet you're a big hit with the ladies! :7)

Exactly. Oh - hold on. Two tiny edits. DEL "a big" INS "often" & DEL "with" INS "by".

Otherwise, spot-on.

wenestvedt · Post by **wenestvedt** » Sat Nov 04, 2006 8:57 pm

Well, knowing one's limitations is good, too.

- Will

wenestvedt · Post by **wenestvedt** » Sat Nov 04, 2006 9:06 pm

Oy, waitaminnit... Punch? You, right? Hrm...

I spent most of 1992 in Reading, vile Reading, and that rings a bell. After I returned I used to go to the library at my university in Boston (dear Boston College) and read Matthew Parris columns in The Times just for a taste of the memory. A friend from Royal Tunbridge Wells (as he made us call it) had copies of Punch laying about, plus a few other such.

Good times, good times...

Bargepole · Post by **Bargepole** » Sun Nov 05, 2006 4:45 pm

wenestvedt wrote: Good times, good times...

Were, if you worked there. The Friday luncheons -- met everyone IN THE WORLD and got to carve my name on the famous table (where is it now I wonder?). Don't know how good they were for readers, though.

And then came corporate ownership..