Addressing our fathers as we get older?

[Bargepole]

Interesting one and also strikes a chord since my old man is slowly on the way out (lung cancer, poor fellow) and of course I find myself thinking over things; it seems important not to leave anything unsettled.

It was "Daddy" when I was little and when I had to face up to his mortality not so long ago it was "Daddy" I cried for in the night. The rest of the time, it's a bit uncomfortable, to be honest. There came a point when I felt to old to call him Daddy but too self-conscious to call him Dad and I just sort of called him nothing thereafter. He signs himself Dad when he writes. My sister calls him Daddy but then he calls her "Mummy" to me, because he's used to referring to her as Mummy when he speaks to her kids. I call him The Da to other people but if I'm honest I still think of him either as Daddy or as my father.

My daugher calls me Papa. Heaven knows where she got it -- I think it started as a joke and stuck -- but I love it.

As a side-issue: has anyone else noticed a very common distinction between men and women: we, in conversation, will refer to "my Dad" or whatever we call the ould fella; women will just refer to "Dad" as if there's only the one Dad, and that's theirs. Curious.

As for "Mammy" -- my grandfather called my grandmother that both to us and to her. (He was a Lancashire man.) She died when I was 3 but I can still hear him. "Mammy, do I need to wear my overcoat?" She was his mediator with the outside world. He'd literally send her to stand outside the front door to see what the weather was like. And everything else. "Mammy, do I like haddock?"

[Squire]

Michael, regrets about your Dad, mine smoked unfiltered Chesterfields and they eventually got him. I called him Daddy when I was small and when I got back from the War called him Dad for the remainder of his life.

My son called me Daddy until his voice changed and now I am Dad.

My name is David and one of my nieces couldn't pronounce the hard consonant in the middle of my name so she named me Uncle Baby. Two generations on I'm changing diapers for children who call me Uncle Baby.

Life is a circle.

[NickNCut]

Those of you who don't think children should address parents by their first name have to meet my daughter. She has autism and has addressed my wife and I as-Kelly and Eric since she was like 3. It was kind of funny/wierd having a toddler call her parents by their first names. I never would have dreamed of such a thing, but in her wired different mind, it was normal. But when she really needs us, we are mommy and daddy. So we can get a clue of her state of mind.

Eric