Tuxedo advice for my wedding...

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diggity
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Tuxedo advice for my wedding...

Post by diggity »

Well gents, I am not getting married until September, but as fast as this year has flown by (and with a few nudges by my significant other), I bought a wonderful looking Ted Baker Tuxedo (single breasted two button w/ notched lapels and a flat front straight leg pant).....so, my question is...do I wear a black bow tie or a tie with the tux!?! My buddies think that the bow tie is dorky, but they were never the most fashionable. I think that the bow tie is classic and classy, but I also like the looks of a regular tie with a full windsor (ivory tie). Any input is appreciated!
Nathan
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MiloFinch
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Post by MiloFinch »

I too am currently shopping around for a tuxedo for my own wedding. I hate the idea of getting married in clothes that are not mine.

Personally, I say go with the bow tie. That's what I'm going to be wearing. Fashionable or not, I like the looks of them. They are classy and classic just as you've said. So I, along with all of my groomsmen, will be in bow ties.
-David
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JakAHearts
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Post by JakAHearts »

I vote no on the bow tie. I like classic things but theyre just not my style. Also, I feel the full windsor is a bit too big for a thin tux. Then again.... Im 6'4" and 130 pounds. Anything wide looks silly on me. Just my .02

Shane
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druphus
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Post by druphus »

Nathan, I've always thought that a bow tie and cumberbun were manditory if you were wearing a tuxedo. You must know, however, that I've never had a subscription to GQ, so I might not be your best source.
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Andy
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Squire
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Post by Squire »

Ask her.
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PaulSiegel
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Post by PaulSiegel »

I found some good info here:http://artofmanliness.com/2009/03/31/be ... -websites/

and here: http://www.blacktieguide.com/

Let us know how your sartorial choices go.

Paul
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diggity
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Post by diggity »

Squire wrote:Ask her.
Squire, that's the best advice I have had in a long time.
Nathan
Thalay Sagar
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Post by Thalay Sagar »

Squire wrote:Ask her.
Truly the best advice. You are just along for the ride. However, for the sake of debate, what time of day is the wedding?
Best,
Chris

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gsgo
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Post by gsgo »

A self tied bow tie, they look so much better than the "pre tied on elastic" ones. Learning to tie one takes some time but well worth it for the appearance.

Congrats and good luck!
Good shaving,

Gary
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diggity
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Post by diggity »

Chris, wedding is at 5pm. She's on the fence and is as indecisive as I.
Nathan
Thalay Sagar
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Post by Thalay Sagar »

At that time of day either would be appropriate. If you are going with a cummerbund, then the bow tie; if a waist coat, then the straight tie.
Best,
Chris

“Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?”
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drmoss_ca
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Post by drmoss_ca »

There are rules about this.
1. A black dinner jacket (Yankese: "tuxedo") requires a black bow tie. (This must be a hand-tied bow tie. Any pre-formed bow tie doesn't count.) This is suitable for an evening event. A white or cream dinner jacket might be worn in a hot climate, but don't make a habit of it. In fact, don't visit hot climates any more often than necessary or we shall suspect you of odd tendencies.
2. One must not wear any other colour of bow tie than black with a dinner jacket on pain of being considered declassé. Nor should an Ascot be any colour other than grey, nor a waistcoat ("vest" in Yankese), and, especially, a cummerbund must not be any colour other than black. Patterns are right out, and if you should wear a sky blue bow tie and/or Ascot, along with a similarly cerulean cummerbund, I shall personally hunt you down and shoot you like a dog.
3. Weddings do not occur in the evening.
4. Any formal occasion in the morning requires a morning coat which is dark grey, worn with light grey pinstripe trousers, white shirt, light grey waistcoat, black shoes, a light grey top hat and a grey Ascot (not the same as a cravat, which is worn informally when you don't want to tie a knot, either literal or metaphorical. Exception: cravats may be worn when sailing or pretending to be an off-duty RAF officer).
5. No one gets married in the afternoon (nor in the evening, vide supra.) Should anyone be unwise enough to do so, the marriage is probably invalid, which will give you a great excuse for an annulment when you come to your senses in a few years. Personally, I propose that no wedding results in a valid marriage unless both bride and groom (other permutations possible in certain states) have a valid handlebar moustache each.
6. There is no rule 6.
7. These rules only apply to those desirous of obeying the rigid and invariable code of the Brit.

I hope you enjoy your wedding day immensely: it actually matters not what you wear and how you do it, as long as you are in love and have fun.

Chris
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rgc
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Post by rgc »

I agree with Chris that either are appropriate at that time of day. If you go with the bow tie then please take the time to learn to tie one and self tie. Personally I lean towards the traditional bow tie regardless of waist coat or cumberbun. That said, my wedding was at 11 in the morning so I wore appropriate formal day attire.

Dick
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rgc
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Post by rgc »

As far as the good Dr. goes, in regards to rule No. 2, I will join in the hunt and provide firearms if needed. :lol:
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Dexterous
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Post by Dexterous »

Squire wrote:Ask her.
I concur. Listen to us more experienced guys. She's the only one whose opinion matters to you. Everyone else will think you look good whatever you choose.
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PaulSiegel
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Post by PaulSiegel »

diggity wrote:Chris, wedding is at 5pm. She's on the fence and is as indecisive as I.
Hmm, hinge time. IF you've already got the black dinner jacket you are duty bound to wear a hand-tied black bow tie with black cummerbund. A vest and tie in my opinion is just not right. Although a black waistcoat, might be acceptable.


Another important factor here is the collar of your shirt: with a wing collar only a bow tie will do, with a full collar, either is acceptable.
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Rufus
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Post by Rufus »

diggity wrote:Chris, wedding is at 5pm. She's on the fence and is as indecisive as I.
But you shouldn't wear a Dinner Jacket before 6.00 pm; see Dr Moss' rule #6 above.
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Post by Thalay Sagar »

However, crushed velvet is always appropriate. :D
Best,
Chris

“Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
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Sam
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Post by Sam »

Squire wrote:Ask her.
Man, Squire is so right on with this. Succinct too. It is her wedding, so you coordinate with her. It is her pictures, and you are invited to be in there. I bought my tux for my small, out door wedding almost 25 years ago and kept the tux and used it for two or three other events. I had gotten a deal from a client of the law firm where I clerked, so using it 4 times was cheaper then renting it twice.

Now, to the extent you can express an opinion to her, and she is a benevolent dictator and will listen, you have to decide upon traditional/classic and that would be a bow tie sans cumberbund, or the look of a tie. If you look at the Bond films, he always wore a tuxedo as I recall without a cumberbund and he was the traditional English dresser an would not have broken with conventions of that time.
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Post by SteveK »

Nathan,

Please listen to the good doctor; he is exactly right in this. You can of course choose to wear anything you like with a tuxedo jacket, but anything other than a black bow tie (hand tied, of course) and black cummerbund is simply not “formal.” Black tie is a uniform. The formality and elegance derives from the unwavering “rules of the game.”

Wearing anything else and you risk a slippery slope descent into the world of fashion, something like this gentleman:

Image


Now, Hollywood types can do this, because their eccentricities are a part of their personae. The rest of us mortals, however, should steer clear of this look. Remember, 25 years from now, pictures of the momentous event will be on display. Rest assured that black tie will never cause embarrassment.
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