To say that I feel bad is not the full measure of my sorrow. See, my little teacup poodle was struck by a car this morning and yes, I am to blame. I let the dogs out through the garage as I raise the garage door to go get my newspaper around 6:00 a.m. They usually run to the edge of the yard and potty, and sometimes run down the sidewalk. The poodle for the last few days has wanted to venture across the street and I have had to yell and scold her back and even pick her up. This morning, she and the other dog, a Cavalier King Charles, ran to a truck parked on my side of the street and sniffed. I scurried on up and found the Cavalier at the corner, at the next house. Did not see the poodle, a black one, and she did not answer my call. I saw a clump of what I thought were leaves in the road, and yes, a car had passed by but never stopped. The Cavalier got in the road and I let him go over a bit and called him to come back and when I walked up, it was the poodle and she basically had her back open with some innards squeezed out.
I feel such sorry and am blaming myself. I won't go beyond that, but it is more than just sadness that fills my heart. I thought about posting, then not posting, then posting, and even writing this, I am not feeling any better. I know that time heals wounds, but to think my negligence has caused something I care for to suffer and die, I just feel so bad. It is two hours later, and I am still welling up. I have put her in a small box to bury her later this evening when we get home.
It seems stupid, but I am sad that my Cavalier will miss his 'sister'. See, she licks the crud from under his eyes, and they are left home during the day and we leave it on the NBC channel for them to have the tv to watch while we are gone, and I'd like to think that they learned from Oprah, Dr. Phil, a little soap opera or two, the Today show and local news while we were gone. I think he sensed somehow that she expired, as he had a forlorn look this morning, or maybe I am reading into that.
I just feel so stupid, one minute, I am petting her and the next, I am scooping her up with a shovel into a box to be buried.
R.I.P. - My beloved dog, Mikki
I am so sorry for your loss. As a pet owner (3 cats) and have lost pets over the years I can imagine how you feel. It truly saddened me to read your post.
I know there are no words that can make you feel better right now and only hope your sorrow doesn't last too long.
I know there are no words that can make you feel better right now and only hope your sorrow doesn't last too long.
-Neal (DE user since 1998)
I shave therefore I am
I shave therefore I am
I am very sorry to hear about your loss Sam. As a pet owner (Weimaraner), I can imagine how sad you are feeling.
http://www.bullgooseshaving.com -Rocnel, Barbaros, Boellis Panama, Savonniere du Moulin, Asylum Shave Works and so much more.
- Phil
- Phil
Sam, don't blame yourself. Dogs are animals with instincts and minds of their own that often ignore our entreaties. The loss is heartbreaking enough without adding personal -- and most likely unwarranted -- guilt. We often try to assign blame where there is none. As a dog lover, I empathize with your pain.
Jim
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ShadowsDad
- Posts: 3121
- Joined: Thu Sep 29, 2011 1:13 am
- Location: Central Maine
Dog person here, so believe me when I write that I feel your loss. Right now it's a little difficult to see the keys.
We've lost a number of our fourfooted children and it never gets any easier. They worm their way into our hearts and we are their everything.
It wasn't your fault, it wasn't the dogs, and maybe even not the drivers. This was a small dog, correct? The driver may not have even seen the dog. It just happened. That doesn't make it any easier, I know. But sometimes the stars and planets misalign and something like this occurs.
About the Cavalier... Yes, dogs mourn. He will miss his sister. There is only one good solution that I know of. Another female pup. Give yourselves and the Cavalier some time to mourn, but be looking around in that time. When the time is right and the right dog shows up, you'll know it. For us a month is about right before filling our hearts with a new furry bundle. The hurt of loss will never go away, it just gets rechanneled into something healthier.
Think what FATHER must go through every time HE loses one of HIS children. We were created in HIS image, so HE goes through it also, and we experience what HE does. (The caps don't mean shouting but reverence)
We've had dogs bring the deceased dogs favorite toy to the deceased dogs bed and drop it; we've seen their demeanor change also. Either you need to spend 24/7 with the surviving dog, or you should get it companionship. Our latest dog to die was a huge CaneCorso. The surviving dog simply wasn't the same. It was like the wind was out of her sail. She'd eat and go outside, but the fun wasn't there. Then we got the Amstaff pup for her. She was cold at first, but now she plays even more with him than she did with the CaneCorso. She's his "mom" and at least a few years have been removed from her, or so it seems to see her play.
You might also consider installing a radio "fence". It's invisible, and when the collar loses contact with the base unit it sends a mild jolt to the collar to tell the dog to turn around. There are a few available and they aren't very expensive. There may also be one where a wire is buried at the limit you want the dog to go (like a fence), and when the collar detects it the suggestion is sent through the collar. You'll need to research it.
We've lost a number of our fourfooted children and it never gets any easier. They worm their way into our hearts and we are their everything.
It wasn't your fault, it wasn't the dogs, and maybe even not the drivers. This was a small dog, correct? The driver may not have even seen the dog. It just happened. That doesn't make it any easier, I know. But sometimes the stars and planets misalign and something like this occurs.
About the Cavalier... Yes, dogs mourn. He will miss his sister. There is only one good solution that I know of. Another female pup. Give yourselves and the Cavalier some time to mourn, but be looking around in that time. When the time is right and the right dog shows up, you'll know it. For us a month is about right before filling our hearts with a new furry bundle. The hurt of loss will never go away, it just gets rechanneled into something healthier.
Think what FATHER must go through every time HE loses one of HIS children. We were created in HIS image, so HE goes through it also, and we experience what HE does. (The caps don't mean shouting but reverence)
We've had dogs bring the deceased dogs favorite toy to the deceased dogs bed and drop it; we've seen their demeanor change also. Either you need to spend 24/7 with the surviving dog, or you should get it companionship. Our latest dog to die was a huge CaneCorso. The surviving dog simply wasn't the same. It was like the wind was out of her sail. She'd eat and go outside, but the fun wasn't there. Then we got the Amstaff pup for her. She was cold at first, but now she plays even more with him than she did with the CaneCorso. She's his "mom" and at least a few years have been removed from her, or so it seems to see her play.
You might also consider installing a radio "fence". It's invisible, and when the collar loses contact with the base unit it sends a mild jolt to the collar to tell the dog to turn around. There are a few available and they aren't very expensive. There may also be one where a wire is buried at the limit you want the dog to go (like a fence), and when the collar detects it the suggestion is sent through the collar. You'll need to research it.
Brian
Maker of Kramperts Finest Bay Rum and Frostbite
Or find it here: Italian Barber, West Coast Shaving, Barclay Crocker, The Old Town Shaving Company at Stats, Maggard Razors; Leavitt & Peirce, Harvard Square
Maker of Kramperts Finest Bay Rum and Frostbite
Or find it here: Italian Barber, West Coast Shaving, Barclay Crocker, The Old Town Shaving Company at Stats, Maggard Razors; Leavitt & Peirce, Harvard Square
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Sam
- M'Learned Friend
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Thanks all. Brian, I would love to get another dog, but it is up to the Wife. She picked out this dog, and it was so chill, just like her, and my wife is petite, so they were sympatico. Wife was not mean to me, but I could sense it in her demeanor the 'why did you not listen to me and let them out the back yard". It used to be the Cavalier that ran out but he now hangs close to me after he potties. For some reason, the poodle just started going into the main street (we live at the corner of the street and our cove). She just got a wild hair this week and I should have known better but she ran down the sidewalk (curb actually) to the car parked and then to the corner so fast rather than across the big street at My corner.
We will see how the Cav does. Id want a short haired dog - wife is tired of the shedding of the Cavalier and taking the poodle to get trimmed but she would not go for a labrador. Maybe a labradoodle or goldendoodle. Might let daughter get it for us!!
Daughter's dog, a Yorkie, hurt its right rear leg at Thanksgiving and may need ACL surgery (daughter hears the knee popping and dog favors it for a bit). $2500 or so right there.
I'm not beating myself up, but the loss, the thought that this was avoidable, well, it does gnaw at me. I know in a week, it will be much better, and yes, that Cavalier is going to start pottying in the back yard and we will walk now with a harness I am thinking. He will get a few trips to a dog part this weekend
We will see how the Cav does. Id want a short haired dog - wife is tired of the shedding of the Cavalier and taking the poodle to get trimmed but she would not go for a labrador. Maybe a labradoodle or goldendoodle. Might let daughter get it for us!!
Daughter's dog, a Yorkie, hurt its right rear leg at Thanksgiving and may need ACL surgery (daughter hears the knee popping and dog favors it for a bit). $2500 or so right there.
I'm not beating myself up, but the loss, the thought that this was avoidable, well, it does gnaw at me. I know in a week, it will be much better, and yes, that Cavalier is going to start pottying in the back yard and we will walk now with a harness I am thinking. He will get a few trips to a dog part this weekend
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desertbadger
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Trout Whisperer
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That's tough to read, Sam. Losing a pet is a big deal. Animals will do what they do, though, so take from this experience whatever lesson(s) may help in the future and move on. As you mentioned, it will get easier with time.
"Let a man set his heart only on doing the will of God and he is instantly free." — A. W. Tozer
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Quarterstick
- Posts: 342
- Joined: Fri Jul 29, 2011 2:09 pm
Sam, so sorry to hear about your loss. We don't have children and always say that our small dog is 'our baby'. People laugh, but we really do feel that way about him. It's amazing how they become such a huge part of one's life.
Please try not to blame yourself; unfortunately these things can happen.
Gareth
Please try not to blame yourself; unfortunately these things can happen.
Gareth
