Joke of the Day

Feel free to post anything unrelated to wet shaving or men's grooming (I.e. cars, watches, pens, leather goods. You know, the finer things of life).
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Sam
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Sam » Tue Jan 21, 2014 1:11 pm

Had a friend who wanted a dog and went to a breeder. Saw a black lab and asked the price, Couldn't afford it
Then saw a golden lab and asked the price, and he couldnt afford it either.
So he got a meth lab
Now he can afford any dog he wants.

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maskaggs
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by maskaggs » Wed Jan 22, 2014 11:59 am

Sam wrote:Had a friend who wanted a dog and went to a breeder. Saw a black lab and asked the price, Couldn't afford it
Then saw a golden lab and asked the price, and he couldnt afford it either.
So he got a meth lab
Now he can afford any dog he wants.
This basically applies to most of rural Indiana, and numerous other states as well.
Regards,
Mike

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GA Russell
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by GA Russell » Tue Jan 28, 2014 2:53 pm

The inventor of Crest passed away. Four out of five dentists went to the funeral.
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by GA Russell » Sun Feb 02, 2014 3:18 pm

When I was a kid we made money by going to the houses of people who hadn't shoveled their snow, slipping, and suing them.
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by GA Russell » Thu Feb 13, 2014 7:03 pm

A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.

During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.

The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.

Next, it was the husband’s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, “Well, I’d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me.”

The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.
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Squire
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Squire » Fri Feb 14, 2014 5:58 am

Good one.
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Squire

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GA Russell
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by GA Russell » Sat Feb 15, 2014 6:11 pm

If her lips are on fire and she trembles in your arms, forget her. She's got malaria.
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Squire » Sat Feb 15, 2014 6:25 pm

That or she's really, really happy to see 'ya.
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Squire

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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by brothers » Sat Feb 15, 2014 6:30 pm

Every dog has his day.
Gary

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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Squire » Sat Feb 15, 2014 6:33 pm

Mine says his was six months ago last Thursday.
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Squire

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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by rsp1202 » Sat Feb 15, 2014 8:15 pm

An old man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside.

"Johnnie, I want you to listen to me. I want you to take my chrome-plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns. How 'bout you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"

"You listen to me, boy! Some day you're going to be running the business, you're going to have a beautiful wife, lots of money, a big home and maybe a couple of kids. Some day you're going to come home and find your wife in bed with another man. What are you going do then? Point to your watch and say, 'Times up!'"?
Ron

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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by JRTASTER » Sat Feb 15, 2014 8:59 pm

Leroy shows up at a rural prayer meeting and when the minister calls forward those wanting a special blessing, Leroy springs forth.
The minister asks Leroy what his special need is. Leroy replies: I need prayers for my hearing.
As the minister lays hands on Leroy's head, calling on The Lord to bless Leroy, the congregation joins in with chants and prayers and all are caught up in a mild frenzy.
Well, the pastor says to Leroy, when the din subsides, and how is your hearing now??? Don't rightly know, replies Leroy, it ain't til Thursday!
Enjoying wet shaving, again.
jr/John

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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by brothers » Mon Feb 17, 2014 8:09 am

A man walks into a bar with a cheese sandwich under his arm. "A pint of Guinness for me and the cheese sandwich," he says to the barman.
"I'm sorry, sir," replies the barman, "we don't serve food in here."
Gary

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GA Russell
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by GA Russell » Mon Feb 17, 2014 6:34 pm

I'm single by choice. Not my choice.
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Squire » Tue Feb 18, 2014 3:14 pm

Their relationship is a combination of strange and beautiful . . . she's beautiful.
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Squire

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GA Russell
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by GA Russell » Tue Feb 18, 2014 4:08 pm

Squire, now you're the one making me laugh!

I'm reminded of the comment by Roy Huggins, the writer who created the TV show Maverick. He said that he and James Garner have a love-hate relationship. "I love him, and he hates me!"
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Rufus » Tue Feb 18, 2014 4:50 pm

A quote from Winston Churchill, "The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter."
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Rufus » Tue Feb 18, 2014 4:57 pm

A lady walks onto the office of the local newspaper to post a death notice for her recently deceased husband. She hands the clerk a piece of paper on which she has written the notice, "Larry Justin Brown died today." The clerk reads the notice and advises the woman that the minimum charge for such a notice is $5 for ten words and suggests she might want to re-write the death notice. She re-writes the death notice, "Larry Justin Brown died today; golf clubs for sale."
Bryan

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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Rufus » Tue Feb 18, 2014 5:04 pm

A Newfie walks into a bar with a toad on his head and orders a drink. The bar tender serves the drink, but can't help staring at the toad. The Newfie finishes the drink and orders another. The bar tender duly serves the drink, but by this time he can't contain himself any longer. He looks at the Newfie and the toad and says, "where did you get that from?" To which the toad replies, "don't rightly know, it started as a wart on my ass."
Bryan

Gene
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Gene » Wed Feb 19, 2014 8:46 am

Man finds a lamp on the beach. He rubs it, and the genie pops out.
Genie: "You get three wishes, but your Mother-in-Law gets double that wish."
Mans: "I want $50 million in my bank account."
Genie: "Done, but she has $100 million."
Man: "I want a 20,000 square foot mansion on French Riviera."
Genie: "Done, she has 40,000 square foot mansion next door. What's you last wish?"
Man: "I want to be beat - half to death."
Gene

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