Practical jokes

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brothers
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Practical jokes

Post by brothers » Mon Sep 18, 2017 7:28 pm

I can take no credit for these. They were posted here on SMF by members many years ago and all I've done now is to share them. RJ posted the first two, and Sam posted the third.

1. My dad called my brother who was in college at the time and told him that his new license plate tag was ready to be picked up at the DMV. This was a joke on both my brother, and the lady at the DMV counter! (There was no new plate)

2. In retaliation - the following year, my dad's lexus happened to be at the shop on April 1 - in Palm Beach which is about 45 minutes to an hour south in traffic. My dad got a call from "lexus" that his car was ready to be picked up. My dad returned his rental car prior to reaching the service desk at the dealer. Imagine his suprise to find out they had no idea what he was talking about!

3. In college, I went around telling girls in a bar that my friend had broken up with a long-time girlfriend and it was his birthday and he was sullen and if they could just give him a nice kiss, maybe on the lips if it was not too much trouble. Well, an hour later, he comes up to me to tell me he is reeling them in and I can have his throwaways, LOL!

Hopefully others here will have some experiences with practical jokes that they might want to share with us also.
Gary

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ShadowsDad
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Re: Practical jokes

Post by ShadowsDad » Tue Sep 19, 2017 7:12 am

I have a penchant for teaming up with folks who I probably shouldn't. Before retirement we'I did all sorts of things. To put this into perspective I was blue collar and worked in a paper mill. I was one of 1500 or so people and quite anonymous.
(I hope this works) https://www.google.com/maps/@44.7017955 ... a=!3m1!1e3

During a mill shutdown (the entire mill is shut down to do massive maintenance that can't be done with it running) there are massive amounts of contractors all working in various areas. A buddy and I went into the largest mens room and put company issued boots and rain pants in front of each hopper. We'd check back periodically and never failed to get a laugh at the contractors storming out with their bowels still full. The gent in charge of keeping the room clean mentioned,"I don't know who did this but it's great! I haven't cleaned them all day!".

You can't imagine the size of this facility, it's simply massive. The paper machine building alone is possibly 1/4 mile long. People would enter from the parking lot near the end of the building and hike to the other end where the shops were. A coworker had a oil filtration/dewatering unit set up on a lube tank with hoses running everywhere. Safety was always stressed at the mill, so another buddy and I decided to help. We strung safety tape throughout that area so that no one could pass. Going through safety tape was a HUGE no-no. No one could use that door and it was the major entry way into the paper mill. People were NOT happy! A big walk around to enter and to get to where they needed to be.

They had a mail system and periodically there would be memos to the workers read aloud at morning meeting. Many of the notices were absolutely ridiculous but quite seriously presented. Fertile ground for the fun loving mind. We had a high pressure rinse station for privately owned vehicles because periodically there would be a lime discharge that covered cars. So there appeared in the mail boxes the notice that bicycles, motorcycles, and riders could no longer go through the car wash due to increased risk of eye injury. It was read at morning meeting mill wide. The reactions were priceless.

Every mill has people who are hated. One person I'll call Dave. At one time there were huge cost cutting measures instituted, couple that with a fertile mind... There appeared in the mail boxes another memo stating that due to cost cutting, safety eyeglasses could no longer be picked up at the safety van. Instead they would be picked up on Saturday at Daves house between 10 and noon in his driveway. Again, priceless reactions with lots of cussing.

There was also for a short time an "ask the mill manager" section in the mill newsletter. It was stated in it that cars were subject to inspection as they exited the mill. We all knew that anything leaving the property could be searched, but it particularly annoyed me that the mill manager couldn't bring himself to use those words. So I asked the question, "If our vehicles don't pass this inspection can we bring them to the mechanics to get the work done so that we can pass inspection?". Every one else was amused. He thought the anonymous person had far too much time on his hands. Years later I mentioned this and folks still remembered it and commented, "That was you!??".

We had small gas buggies (Cushman) that were used to take us from job site to job site. We had our tools on them and the facility was so large that without them we couldn't possibly do our jobs. They would be parked outside the shop. During lunch the wheels and tires miraculously disappeared from one of them, and the Cushman was put up on blocks, as though it was an abandoned vehicle in a ghetto in NYC. That same vehicle developed a steel wool in the exhaust pipe problem and the rider couldn't go faster than a walk.
Our cushmans looked like the "tug" on this page, except most were gas driven. http://www.kmhsystems.com/products-solu ... -vehicles/

We did lots of stuff to each other. That's just what I remember from off the top of my head.
Brian

Maker of Kramperts Finest Bay Rum and Frostbite http://www.krampertsfinest.com/
Or find it here: Italian Barber, West Coast Shaving, Barclay Crocker, The Old Town Shaving Company at Stats, Maggard Razors; Leavitt & Peirce, Harvard Square

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kronos9
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Re: Practical jokes

Post by kronos9 » Thu Sep 21, 2017 8:24 am

Here's one that only people with some knowledge of MS-DOS will appreciate.

I was going on vacation from my IT job and knew for a fact that the Corporate Automation people would be by to mess with my 286 computer in my absence. At the time, the computer would boot to a C> prompt. Not everyone knew that you could change that prompt to anything you chose such as Hello, Yes Master?, or simply time and date. I changed mine to "Abort, retry, or fail?", a standard MS-DOS error message for a critical failure. Sure enough, the CA people came around and were thoroughly flummoxed by the inescapable error message. No matter what they typed in they would get the same message. My nearby cubicle prisoner, who was in on the joke, greatly enjoyed watching their frustration and confusion.
Ed

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ShadowsDad
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Re: Practical jokes

Post by ShadowsDad » Thu Sep 21, 2017 8:57 am

Too funny Ed! Yes, I remember DOS. I miss the batch language.
Brian

Maker of Kramperts Finest Bay Rum and Frostbite http://www.krampertsfinest.com/
Or find it here: Italian Barber, West Coast Shaving, Barclay Crocker, The Old Town Shaving Company at Stats, Maggard Razors; Leavitt & Peirce, Harvard Square

brothers
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Re: Practical jokes

Post by brothers » Thu Sep 21, 2017 7:29 pm

True story. There was a political hack with no principles who pulled his strings to get himself appointed as the top person. He had a hatchet man. Cowards didn't want to "fire" people because they would be subject to review on a higher level. Much better for them if their victims just resigned.

So they maintained their network of sycophants and reveled at their evil and completely unfair practices. There was one that was aware of the practice, and kept his/her hands clean and gained a sterling reputation inside and outside the organization due to an ongoing high profile. The coward recruited two or more young people who found themselves qualified to report the target individual's every act while giving the information a touch of inaccuracy and ill-meaning innuendo calculated to fan the fire. The targeted individual was no fool and knew this was happening. One of the self appointed snitches happened to be the secretary of the target, charged with preparing his/her letters at the direction of the target. The target dictated a letter to the chairman of the board, setting out what was happening, and only referring to the snitches as young people.

At the end of the drafted letter was a cc: including the chairman and all of the members of the board. There was no copy going to the political hack or his hatchet man. Dutifully, the secretary prepared the letter for the target to sign, placed it on his/her desk, and there it sat . . . . :) Never sent. It didn't need to be sent because it was immediately delivered to the top dog, who never suspected the obvious. The fact that the young people (including the secretary of course) gave a copy to the foolish hack who indignantly sent a self-serving and offensive letter (in response to a letter he never received to the chairman and the board who never received it either) proved beyond doubt what exactly was happening.

It was like watching a boxing match between a drunk prize fighter and an illusion. He took a very public and mighty drunken roundhouse swing at an opponent that had never even got into the ring. Made him and his network snitches look like the fools they were. I call this genius.

The hack took retirement eventually, and the target stayed aboard for another 16 years.
Gary

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ShadowsDad
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Re: Practical jokes

Post by ShadowsDad » Fri Sep 22, 2017 5:25 am

I love it when the good guys win one Gary!
Brian

Maker of Kramperts Finest Bay Rum and Frostbite http://www.krampertsfinest.com/
Or find it here: Italian Barber, West Coast Shaving, Barclay Crocker, The Old Town Shaving Company at Stats, Maggard Razors; Leavitt & Peirce, Harvard Square

Bobwhite
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Re: Practical jokes

Post by Bobwhite » Sun Oct 29, 2017 6:42 pm

My brother is retiring at the end of the month after 30 years. He is going to take a picture of himself smiling and waving good bye. Then make 30 copies on the copier. Next he is going to add one copy to every 50 sheets back into the printer stack. I'm sure he will be missed!

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ShadowsDad
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Re: Practical jokes

Post by ShadowsDad » Wed Nov 01, 2017 8:24 pm

Gotta love it!
Brian

Maker of Kramperts Finest Bay Rum and Frostbite http://www.krampertsfinest.com/
Or find it here: Italian Barber, West Coast Shaving, Barclay Crocker, The Old Town Shaving Company at Stats, Maggard Razors; Leavitt & Peirce, Harvard Square

brothers
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Re: Practical jokes

Post by brothers » Thu Nov 09, 2017 6:03 pm

Bobwhite wrote:My brother is retiring at the end of the month after 30 years. He is going to take a picture of himself smiling and waving good bye. Then make 30 copies on the copier. Next he is going to add one copy to every 50 sheets back into the printer stack. I'm sure he will be missed!
That's a good one! :D
Gary

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Sam
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Re: Practical jokes

Post by Sam » Thu Nov 09, 2017 6:47 pm

Gary, #3 is what I did with my buddy. But I waited two years to tell him and I did meet a nice lady that night and made out

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