Helpful suggestions:
Helpful suggestions:
Lately I've been studying the internet, and have found some helpful tips that might make life easier:
1. In the event of tornados or other natural disasters, place wieners and/or slices of cheese in your pockets so the search dogs will find you first.
2. If you are arguing loudly on your phone in public, please put it on speaker so those around you will be able to know both sides of the story.
If I find any others, I'll try to post them as they become available. I hope others will contribute to the list. Together we can create a valuable source of public interest that might be helpful to others.
1. In the event of tornados or other natural disasters, place wieners and/or slices of cheese in your pockets so the search dogs will find you first.
2. If you are arguing loudly on your phone in public, please put it on speaker so those around you will be able to know both sides of the story.
If I find any others, I'll try to post them as they become available. I hope others will contribute to the list. Together we can create a valuable source of public interest that might be helpful to others.
Gary
SOTD 99%: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, soaps & creams, synthetic / badger brushes, Colonial General razor, Kai & Schick blades, straight razors any time, Superior 70 aftershave splash + menthol + 444
SOTD 99%: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, soaps & creams, synthetic / badger brushes, Colonial General razor, Kai & Schick blades, straight razors any time, Superior 70 aftershave splash + menthol + 444
Re: Helpful suggestions:
Also live-stream your life as it happens, putting different parts on different special interest websites. The part where you're sleeping, for instance, might make a positive contribution to a help-me-get-to-sleep website.
Then monetize the living daylights out of the whole thing, and get an IPO going once you're making a good income.
And then become a motivational speaker, helping other monetize their lives.
Isn't it true that none of this was discussed in the Book of Revelation, or am I just reading it wrong? I already know that if I play an audiobook of it backward, it tells us that Paul McCartney is actually Ringo Starr, Ringo is Keith Moon, Moon is John Bonham, and Bonham was the walrus.
Then monetize the living daylights out of the whole thing, and get an IPO going once you're making a good income.
And then become a motivational speaker, helping other monetize their lives.
Isn't it true that none of this was discussed in the Book of Revelation, or am I just reading it wrong? I already know that if I play an audiobook of it backward, it tells us that Paul McCartney is actually Ringo Starr, Ringo is Keith Moon, Moon is John Bonham, and Bonham was the walrus.
- fallingwickets
- Clive the Thumb
- Posts: 8813
- Joined: Mon Nov 06, 2006 11:59 am
Re: Helpful suggestions:
great thread...13 thumbs up for the laughs
clive
clive
de gustibus non est disputandum
Re: Helpful suggestions:
1. Don't listen to loud music while vacuuming - I did three rooms before I realized the vacuum wasn't on.
2. Drinking too much alcohol leads to memory loss, and even worse, memory loss.
2. Drinking too much alcohol leads to memory loss, and even worse, memory loss.
Gary
SOTD 99%: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, soaps & creams, synthetic / badger brushes, Colonial General razor, Kai & Schick blades, straight razors any time, Superior 70 aftershave splash + menthol + 444
SOTD 99%: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, soaps & creams, synthetic / badger brushes, Colonial General razor, Kai & Schick blades, straight razors any time, Superior 70 aftershave splash + menthol + 444
Re: Helpful suggestions:
If there is no flashlight on your phone, take a photo of the sun and use it in the dark
Gary
SOTD 99%: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, soaps & creams, synthetic / badger brushes, Colonial General razor, Kai & Schick blades, straight razors any time, Superior 70 aftershave splash + menthol + 444
SOTD 99%: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, soaps & creams, synthetic / badger brushes, Colonial General razor, Kai & Schick blades, straight razors any time, Superior 70 aftershave splash + menthol + 444
Re: Helpful suggestions:
If you're out of printer paper, copy a blank page and send it to the printer 500 times.
Ed
Re: Helpful suggestions:
If you try to rob a bank, you won't have to bother paying rent or bills or buying food for at least 10 years, whether you are successful or not.
Gary
SOTD 99%: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, soaps & creams, synthetic / badger brushes, Colonial General razor, Kai & Schick blades, straight razors any time, Superior 70 aftershave splash + menthol + 444
SOTD 99%: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, soaps & creams, synthetic / badger brushes, Colonial General razor, Kai & Schick blades, straight razors any time, Superior 70 aftershave splash + menthol + 444
Re: Helpful suggestions:
1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
2. Never run from an overweight police officer, he or she is more likely to shoot than chase you.
2. Never run from an overweight police officer, he or she is more likely to shoot than chase you.
Gary
SOTD 99%: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, soaps & creams, synthetic / badger brushes, Colonial General razor, Kai & Schick blades, straight razors any time, Superior 70 aftershave splash + menthol + 444
SOTD 99%: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, soaps & creams, synthetic / badger brushes, Colonial General razor, Kai & Schick blades, straight razors any time, Superior 70 aftershave splash + menthol + 444
- wenestvedt
- Posts: 1981
- Joined: Wed Jun 28, 2006 5:37 pm
- Location: Rhode Island
Re: Helpful suggestions:
Hey, NASCAR Drivers!
If you started a couple of hours earlier, y'all wouldn't have to drive so fast.
Hey Football players!
If each team brought their own ball, you wouldn't have to fight over it.
Same goes for Hockey players and pucks.
If you started a couple of hours earlier, y'all wouldn't have to drive so fast.
Hey Football players!
If each team brought their own ball, you wouldn't have to fight over it.
Same goes for Hockey players and pucks.
"If this isn't nice, then what is?" - Kurt Vonnegut's Uncle Alex
Re: Helpful suggestions:
John, I like the way you think! Such common sense is very refreshing!
Gary
SOTD 99%: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, soaps & creams, synthetic / badger brushes, Colonial General razor, Kai & Schick blades, straight razors any time, Superior 70 aftershave splash + menthol + 444
SOTD 99%: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, soaps & creams, synthetic / badger brushes, Colonial General razor, Kai & Schick blades, straight razors any time, Superior 70 aftershave splash + menthol + 444