I feel guilty

Thoughts and input on anything related to wet shaving or men's grooming.
Gareth
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Post by Gareth » Sun May 18, 2008 5:39 pm

Don't bring old Bargepole into this. He's a different case entirely....

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Post by Mr. Igg » Thu May 22, 2008 4:00 pm

Gareth wrote:Thanks for the replies, everyone. It is interesting to hear how other people approach their ever growing stashes of shaving equipment. I dealt with my 'guilt' by following Zach's advice and bought some more. Simple and effective. This is after all a hobby, an interest, a passion. A strange one, but true nonetheless. Oscar raises some particularly interesting points. This 'hobby' really does stimulate so many of our senses - smell, touch, sight. It isn't like collecting coins or stamps (both perfectly reasonable hobbies I may add).

I still find it strange however that one of our greatest 'enablers' is a darn therapist....... :wink:


You know who you are.
Ironically, I would've answered "yes" to your thread-starting post, because I too could shave comfortably for the next decade, I'd bet, with just the stash on hand. I came to the same conclusion as you, however, and bought (yet) another soap and ASB, and pulled several other soaps out of "deep storage" for more consistent use. I think I'm OK now. It really is a hobby (for me) as it turns out...
Bryan

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Squire
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Post by Squire » Thu May 22, 2008 5:09 pm

I just think it's prudent to stock up, yes, that's it, lay in a good stock. Never know when something might be reformulated or worse, discontinued. Yes, it's just stocking up.
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Squire

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PT
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Post by PT » Sun May 25, 2008 4:07 pm

I get the shave guilt as well. I lay low when that happens, it is much easier to not buy anything if you stop looking at this darn forum.

bernards66
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Post by bernards66 » Sun May 25, 2008 5:10 pm

PT, Ah....you've noticed that, have you? Indeed. It's MUCH easier if one stays away from this demented forum. In fact, despite many years of...a....connoisseur shaving, I was definately NOT a 'shavegeek' until these cursed forums came along.
Regards,
Gordon

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Post by Jukkie » Tue May 27, 2008 11:53 pm

Well, you feel that guilt for a reason, it's not like your brain spontaneously creates emotion out of nowhere just to screw with your life.

Shaving's a pretty self-centered hobby. It could be that you're just acknowledging this side of you that's so concerned about aesthetic and luxurious properties in a negative light because it seems like such a mindless splurge when you look at a huge pile of all your stuff like that.

I assume you don't need your entire collection to shave to your standards, the excess is just representative of every time you've splurged on a pampering luxury because you were thinking of yourself.

If you think there's any validity to what I'm saying, I think you should consider sharing your collection. Not selling it necessarily, but if you happen to have any old or rare blades, put them in a museum display or something for awhile, even just as a prop in the hand of a manequin.

Turn your hobby into something you can experience openly with others, put some experiences behind your blades so that they have some sort of life story. Turn your collection into an integrated part of your life outside rather than a reflection of how much you like to feel good shaving in the privacy of your bathroom. I'm sure you could find something to do, even if it's just teaching boyscouts how to shave.

This is a very personal opinion, but I don't think it's good to have that much manifestation from something which is ultimately self absorbed lying around in your life when that's not how you intend to view yourself. Not saying the hobby is a self-absorbed one, but it's very self involved, and ultimately I think you probably have to be a little self-absorbed to be able to appreciate a good shave to begin with. Not that your collection is a problem or anything, but you're influenced by your surroundings and how you interpret those surroundings. It sounds like you don't have a very confident view towards the existance of this collection, and question whether it should entirely exist as it does in the first place. I'd say explore the reasons of why that collection exists there in the first place, and find a way you can balance your reasons with your actions to find a place where you'd never think of questioning why you owned all those razors and couldn't imagine life your life without them.

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StGeorge
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Post by StGeorge » Wed May 28, 2008 3:31 am

Gareth, you don't know what guilt is until you've tried a Fusion and found that you really liked it :oops:
Tony

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D.Irving79
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Post by D.Irving79 » Wed May 28, 2008 3:03 pm

StGeorge wrote:Gareth, you don't know what guilt is until you've tried a Fusion and found that you really liked it :oops:
ding ding ding. we have a winner :lol: :lol:

Gareth
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Post by Gareth » Wed May 28, 2008 3:32 pm

Jukkie, I read your post with interest. You raised some very thoughful issues. I enjoyed Tony's too!

I still get that small feeling of guilt, though it is always over the creams and the soaps more than the brushes and razors. I don't know why, as they're all different in their own special way. I think it just makes me feel a little wasteful at times.

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D.Irving79
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Post by D.Irving79 » Wed May 28, 2008 3:38 pm

they all balance each other out IMO. certain combos work well together while others dont.

:wink:

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Re: I feel guilty

Post by yeahbuddeh » Wed May 28, 2008 4:03 pm

I feel the exact same way. Im buying all this stuff because I want it..only to have it sit around and do nothing. so i stopped buying anymore products and am going to sell off what i truly dont care about. its mostly soaps because theres no "sample" to try so we're left spending all this money and being left with a soap we dont want.
Gareth wrote:OK, I'll admit it, I am a guilty shopper. I quite often will buy things I want and then later feel bad about it because really, I hate being wasteful.

The other night I was looking over all of my shaving 'stuff' and I thought to myself, "this is just ridiculous". I have enough shaving soap and cream to last me until I am middle aged, several shaving brushes and razors as well as many colognes and EdTs. Of course, there are other people here like DrP who really are a lost cause, but even so, I feel bad about having SO much shaving gear. I don't know why really - this is a hobby of sorts (and hobbies are not rational things) which I take great pleasure from. I use everything, there's nothing at the moment I'd feel happy selling and I'm in no sort of financial debt or difficulty as a result. So why do I feel bad, and does anyone else get this?

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Post by TRBeck » Wed May 28, 2008 4:04 pm

Gareth, I share your feelings of guilt. I joke about buying things for my wife to appease her or about spending to cover up my feeling guilty, but the truth is, any acquisition disorder reflects a bit of selfishness and, perhaps some waste. And any hobby is by definition extraneous and unnecessary, though it may have its roots in necessity (getting a good shave becomes...well, you know; losing weight by running becomes marathon training). Then again, I have no interest (okay...I have some interest) in being an ascetic, so I will probably always live with some personal indulgences: hell, I eat more protein in a week than some villages consume in a year.
Jukkie raises some interesting points in his post, and I won't disagree with him. But. I will also say that I think people feel guilt for no reason all the time. And I know that at times I revel in it, beating myself up just because I can. And that, too, is self-indulgent. The fact is, when I have a hobby I enjoy, something that relaxes me and prepares me to meet the day (could be yoga, meditation, running, shaving, boxing, gardening, whatever), I am a better person: slow to anger, kind, easy to get along with. I'm not trying to create some justification or excuse: I truly belive my relationships with others are better because of some of the things I do in my spare time (homebrewing ale notwithstanding).
Should I spend less on shaving goods. Absolutely. Could I go 10 years without buying anymore shaving products and still get good shaves? Probably. Will hating myself change the fact that I have spent this money or improve my mood before I meet with my colleagues or my wife? By no means.
So.
Feel guilty if you must. Or if you enjoy it like I do. But consider, too, the benefits this wetshaving hobby offers for you and others.

Regards,
Regards,
Tim

Why should we not meet, not always as dyspeptics, to tell our bad dreams, but sometimes as eupeptics, to congratulate each other on the ever-glorious morning? - Henry David Thoreau

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Post by ScottS » Wed May 28, 2008 4:12 pm

Two or three times, I've felt guilty watching a newbie go into a spending spiral you just know he's going to regret. I think this sort of stuff was bad for a while, and has now come into check. I still often feel compelled to chime in with a "what you have is fine" in "My shave isn't great, what do I need to buy?" threads.

Gareth
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Post by Gareth » Wed May 28, 2008 5:47 pm

My problem is I like to justify things all the time - if someone asks "why?", I like to be able to give a reason. Razors, for instance I can justify; they are vintage, antique, they all have a story to tell, shave differently etc. Brushes I can do the same for: different 'feel', shapes, attributes, physical appeal, beauty. It is just the creams and soaps. Many of them have the same scents, and although perform 'differently' are essentially quite similar. Yet, I wold have much difficulty thinning my stock further (indeed, I have done so already). The problem is that it becomes addictive, and you end up buying X because you already have Y.

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Post by Killian85 » Wed May 28, 2008 7:42 pm

Gareth, I wonder if maybe the best solution for this is something in the vein of what Tim is doing with his Fidelity Experiment. If you have a ton of soaps and creams that are similar, why not commit to using one exclusively until it is gone? This way you could justify a way to pare down what you have and you would know for sure which ones you really wanted based on performance.
Alan

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With The Grain
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Post by With The Grain » Wed May 28, 2008 8:40 pm

bernards66 wrote:PT, Ah....you've noticed that, have you? Indeed. It's MUCH easier if one stays away from this demented forum. In fact, despite many years of...a....connoisseur shaving, I was definately NOT a 'shavegeek' until these cursed forums came along.
Regards,
Gordon
The funny/obvious part is if you take a break from the forum you are happy as can be with what you have and fall back into "normalcy", well not really, but you know, sort of... but revisit and bang, without fail 3 new purchases that you had no need for. Visiting this forum may as well cost $20 each time I click "forum" from the homepage :oops:

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Post by GA Russell » Wed May 28, 2008 9:48 pm

Gareth, I see two possible issues:

1) You regret spending so much money on so many creams. OK, that money spent is water over the dam. Resolve to not buy any more cream for a long, long time. And enjoy what you have.

2) You regret spending so much money on yourself. Do you tithe? I think that most will agree that if you contribute more to worthwhile charities, you won't mind spending a little on yourself as well.

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Post by Jukkie » Thu May 29, 2008 6:57 am

A lot of acquisition disorder is spurred on by separation anxiety surrounding the object in question. The person has connected a part of their identity to that object, and feels that if they remove it from their lives, they're removing that part of who they are.

Do you know an obsessive amount of information regarding your soaps? Is applying the cream your favourite part of shaving? Do you by any chance have any sort of special rituals surrounding the applications or use of your cream?

Are you overwhelmed with the luxurious scent? Scent is our most mentally influencial sense, and we often interpret people from their scent (you know they always say choose the cologne that smells the way you look). Scent also has very powerful effects on our memory and can vividly bring back certain memories and emotions.

There's tons of theoretical explanations, ultimately I think only you can say what seems to make sense or doesn't, but I personally don't think it's normal to feel guilt about something unless you've been conditioned to a sense of undeserved guilt over your life at some time or another, or you're actually doing something you know you shouldn't rightfully be doing.

Emotions act as non-physical catalysts for our brain to communicate to our body to alter ourselves or our environment in some way or another, and personally, IMHO I believe that this is your brain's way of spurring the issue into the concious processing in order to address something about yourself or your environment, my bets are on yourself. Obviously the fact that the guilt of having too much spurred you into creating a thread to at least find out if it was normal or not... It seems like you're trying to validate whether you have this aspect of your life going on the right track or if you're doing something wrong, possibly in order to determine if you should try fixing it.

If you feel there's some truth behind the aspect of separation anxiety due to self-identity involving the soaps then I definitely think you should find a way to stop the guilt before it becomes a conflict of identity and morality.

Jukkie
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Post by Jukkie » Thu May 29, 2008 7:22 am

A lot of acquisition disorder is spurred on by separation anxiety surrounding the object in question. The person has connected a part of their identity to that object, and feels that if they remove it from their lives, they're removing that part of who they are.

Do you know an obsessive amount of information regarding your soaps? Is applying the cream your favourite part of shaving? Do you by any chance have any sort of special rituals surrounding the applications or use of your cream?

Are you overwhelmed with the luxurious scent? Scent is our most mentally influencial sense, and we often interpret people from their scent (you know they always say choose the cologne that smells the way you look). Scent also has very powerful effects on our memory and can vividly bring back certain memories and emotions.

There's tons of theoretical explanations, ultimately I think only you can say what seems to make sense or doesn't, but I personally don't think it's normal to feel guilt about something unless you've been conditioned to a sense of undeserved guilt over your life at some time or another, or you're actually doing something you know you shouldn't rightfully be doing.

Emotions act as non-physical catalysts for our brain to communicate to our body to alter ourselves or our environment in some way or another, and personally, IMHO I believe that this is your brain's way of spurring the issue into the concious processing in order to address something about yourself or your environment, my bets are on yourself. Obviously the fact that the guilt of having too much spurred you into creating a thread to at least find out if it was normal or not... It seems like you're trying to validate whether you have this aspect of your life going on the right track or if you're doing something wrong, possibly in order to determine if you should try fixing it.

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Post by giammi » Thu May 29, 2008 9:47 am

As long as you don't have to lie to or hide stuff to family members,bring your family in financial ruin, there is no need to feel guilty - you just do what is best for you.

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