Joke of the Day

Feel free to post anything unrelated to wet shaving or men's grooming (I.e. cars, watches, pens, leather goods. You know, the finer things of life).
brothers
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by brothers » Thu Sep 26, 2019 2:16 pm

fundamental limit to the precision with which certain pairs of physical properties of a particle, known as complementary variables or canonically conjugate variables

Must be one of those jokes that take a few moments to soak in --- ](*,)
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brothers
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by brothers » Thu Sep 26, 2019 9:12 pm

Jim Gaffigan on gifts: “I can’t believe we’re still giving clothing as a gift. Cause whenever you get clothing as a present, you always open it up and you think, ‘Not even close.’ And the person that gives it is always like, ‘You can take it back if you don’t like it.’ ‘That’s alright. I’ll just throw it out.’ "
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ShadowsDad
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by ShadowsDad » Fri Sep 27, 2019 5:29 am

:D

Yeah, I give money and a picture of a (for instance) shirt. Let them buy what they want the first time.

I enjoyed the Heizenberg uncertainty principle joke, but it did take me few seconds. That's the best type of joke IMO.
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John Rose
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by John Rose » Wed Oct 02, 2019 7:19 pm

Q. What is grey and comes in red and white cans?
A. Campbell's Cream of Elephant Soup.

#-o That takes me back to the '60s.

It seems to have inspired somebody to repaint a water tower in Colorado Springs.
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GA Russell
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by GA Russell » Fri Oct 04, 2019 10:15 pm

Chap goes in to a bar and orders a vodka and coke. Barman serves him. Man drinks it orders another. This goes on for a while, until the chap begins to slow down.

Barman asks, "Is there anything the matter, sir?"

Chap replies, "I had an enormous argument with the wife. She said she won't speak to me for a month. I have to sleep on the sofa."

Barman says, "Best bet is to stop drinking, go home, and don't let this argument carry on passed the first night. Nip it in the bud."

Chap says, "You don't understand. This is the last night."
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fallingwickets
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by fallingwickets » Sun Oct 06, 2019 8:29 am

"You don't understand. This is the last night.
:D :D
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GA Russell
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by GA Russell » Thu Oct 10, 2019 10:39 am

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.

One day, he motioned for her to come nearer. She sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side...You know what?"

"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

"I think you're bad luck, get the heck away from me!"
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