Joke of the Day
Re: Joke of the Day
There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
Will Rogers
Will Rogers
Gary
SOTD 99%: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, soaps & creams, synthetic / badger brushes, Colonial General razor, Kai & Schick blades, straight razors any time, Superior 70 aftershave splash + menthol + 444
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Re: Joke of the Day
OK, I'd be the 4th person who would be a blend of the first 2. But I'd most enjoy observing the 2nd and never experience it for myself. It would be like licking the flagpole. Nothing I'd want to do but I would enjoy seeing someone else show me what it's all about.
Brian
Maker of Kramperts Finest Bay Rum and Frostbite
Or find it here: Italian Barber, West Coast Shaving, Barclay Crocker, The Old Town Shaving Company at Stats, Maggard Razors; Leavitt & Peirce, Harvard Square
Maker of Kramperts Finest Bay Rum and Frostbite
Or find it here: Italian Barber, West Coast Shaving, Barclay Crocker, The Old Town Shaving Company at Stats, Maggard Razors; Leavitt & Peirce, Harvard Square
Re: Joke of the Day
I'm sure someone is bound to try it and make a video. Probably hilarious when it happens to someone else!
Gary
SOTD 99%: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, soaps & creams, synthetic / badger brushes, Colonial General razor, Kai & Schick blades, straight razors any time, Superior 70 aftershave splash + menthol + 444
SOTD 99%: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, soaps & creams, synthetic / badger brushes, Colonial General razor, Kai & Schick blades, straight razors any time, Superior 70 aftershave splash + menthol + 444
Re: Joke of the Day
There's nothing like learning from experience!
Good one. That sounds like something Will Rogers would have said.
- Murray
Good one. That sounds like something Will Rogers would have said.
- Murray
Re: Joke of the Day
Famous last words in Las Vegas --- give me the money I told you not to give me.
Milton Berle
Milton Berle
Gary
SOTD 99%: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, soaps & creams, synthetic / badger brushes, Colonial General razor, Kai & Schick blades, straight razors any time, Superior 70 aftershave splash + menthol + 444
SOTD 99%: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, soaps & creams, synthetic / badger brushes, Colonial General razor, Kai & Schick blades, straight razors any time, Superior 70 aftershave splash + menthol + 444
Re: Joke of the Day
One of those Christmas songs says, “You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout.” How’s my wife going to get along?
Milton Berle
Milton Berle
Gary
SOTD 99%: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, soaps & creams, synthetic / badger brushes, Colonial General razor, Kai & Schick blades, straight razors any time, Superior 70 aftershave splash + menthol + 444
SOTD 99%: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, soaps & creams, synthetic / badger brushes, Colonial General razor, Kai & Schick blades, straight razors any time, Superior 70 aftershave splash + menthol + 444
- GA Russell
- Posts: 3070
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- Location: Raleigh, NC
Re: Joke of the Day
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me, and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace.
Dr. Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So, I looked around my house to see things I started, and hadn't finished; and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreo's, a pot of coffee, the rest of the Cheesecake, some Saltines, and a box of Godiva Chocolates.
You have no idea how good I feel.
Dr. Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So, I looked around my house to see things I started, and hadn't finished; and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreo's, a pot of coffee, the rest of the Cheesecake, some Saltines, and a box of Godiva Chocolates.
You have no idea how good I feel.
Rapira Swedish Supersteel
Fitness
Lijun badger
Gillette 1948-1950 Super Speed
Fitness
Lijun badger
Gillette 1948-1950 Super Speed
Re: Joke of the Day
Good to see you, Russ.
- Murray
- Murray
- fallingwickets
- Clive the Thumb
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Re: Joke of the Day
Good one Russ!
Gary
SOTD 99%: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, soaps & creams, synthetic / badger brushes, Colonial General razor, Kai & Schick blades, straight razors any time, Superior 70 aftershave splash + menthol + 444
SOTD 99%: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, soaps & creams, synthetic / badger brushes, Colonial General razor, Kai & Schick blades, straight razors any time, Superior 70 aftershave splash + menthol + 444
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Re: Joke of the Day
That was too funny! I'm still laughing!
Brian
Maker of Kramperts Finest Bay Rum and Frostbite
Or find it here: Italian Barber, West Coast Shaving, Barclay Crocker, The Old Town Shaving Company at Stats, Maggard Razors; Leavitt & Peirce, Harvard Square
Maker of Kramperts Finest Bay Rum and Frostbite
Or find it here: Italian Barber, West Coast Shaving, Barclay Crocker, The Old Town Shaving Company at Stats, Maggard Razors; Leavitt & Peirce, Harvard Square
- GA Russell
- Posts: 3070
- Joined: Fri Apr 11, 2008 10:15 pm
- Location: Raleigh, NC
Re: Joke of the Day
Thanks very much, guys!
*****
A man was interviewing for a job. The interviewer said, "In this job we need someone who is responsible."
"I'm the one you want," the man replied. "At my last job every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
*****
A man was interviewing for a job. The interviewer said, "In this job we need someone who is responsible."
"I'm the one you want," the man replied. "At my last job every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
Rapira Swedish Supersteel
Fitness
Lijun badger
Gillette 1948-1950 Super Speed
Fitness
Lijun badger
Gillette 1948-1950 Super Speed
- GA Russell
- Posts: 3070
- Joined: Fri Apr 11, 2008 10:15 pm
- Location: Raleigh, NC
Re: Joke of the Day
I remember seeing Tony Randall discuss this concept with David Letterman. He said that for every famous shibboleth there is another one that says the opposite.
*****
Actions speak louder than words.
vs
The pen is mightier than the sword.
Look before you leap.
vs
He who hesitates is lost.
Many hands make light work.
vs
Too many cooks spoil the broth.
Clothes make the man.
vs
Don't judge a book by its cover.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
vs
Better safe than sorry.
The bigger, the better.
vs
The best things come in small packages.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
vs
Out of sight, out of mind.
What will be, will be.
vs
Life is what you make it.
Cross your bridges when you come to them.
vs
Forewarned is forearmed.
What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
vs
One man's meat is another man's poison.
With age comes wisdom.
vs
Out of the mouths of babes come all wise sayings.
The more, the merrier.
vs
Two's company; three's a crowd.
*****
Actions speak louder than words.
vs
The pen is mightier than the sword.
Look before you leap.
vs
He who hesitates is lost.
Many hands make light work.
vs
Too many cooks spoil the broth.
Clothes make the man.
vs
Don't judge a book by its cover.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
vs
Better safe than sorry.
The bigger, the better.
vs
The best things come in small packages.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
vs
Out of sight, out of mind.
What will be, will be.
vs
Life is what you make it.
Cross your bridges when you come to them.
vs
Forewarned is forearmed.
What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
vs
One man's meat is another man's poison.
With age comes wisdom.
vs
Out of the mouths of babes come all wise sayings.
The more, the merrier.
vs
Two's company; three's a crowd.
Rapira Swedish Supersteel
Fitness
Lijun badger
Gillette 1948-1950 Super Speed
Fitness
Lijun badger
Gillette 1948-1950 Super Speed
Re: Joke of the Day
Something to think about. These seem to be of assistance in justifying both/either sides of one's decisions. Depending on the desired outcome.
Gary
SOTD 99%: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, soaps & creams, synthetic / badger brushes, Colonial General razor, Kai & Schick blades, straight razors any time, Superior 70 aftershave splash + menthol + 444
SOTD 99%: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, soaps & creams, synthetic / badger brushes, Colonial General razor, Kai & Schick blades, straight razors any time, Superior 70 aftershave splash + menthol + 444
Re: Joke of the Day
So a well-dressed gentleman of a certain age walks into a bar.
Seated at the bar is a fine-looking lady also of a certain age. The gentleman walks over, sits alongside of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, ‘So tell me, Good Looking, do I come here often?'
Seated at the bar is a fine-looking lady also of a certain age. The gentleman walks over, sits alongside of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, ‘So tell me, Good Looking, do I come here often?'
Gary
SOTD 99%: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, soaps & creams, synthetic / badger brushes, Colonial General razor, Kai & Schick blades, straight razors any time, Superior 70 aftershave splash + menthol + 444
SOTD 99%: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, soaps & creams, synthetic / badger brushes, Colonial General razor, Kai & Schick blades, straight razors any time, Superior 70 aftershave splash + menthol + 444
- GA Russell
- Posts: 3070
- Joined: Fri Apr 11, 2008 10:15 pm
- Location: Raleigh, NC
Re: Joke of the Day
LOL, Gary!
*****
At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old hockey players aside and asked, “Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?”
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
“Do you understand that what matters is not whether we win or lose, but how we play together as a team?”
The little boy nodded yes.
“So,” the coach continued, “I’m sure you know, when a penalty is called, you shouldn’t argue, curse, attack the referee, or call him a pecker-head. Do you understand all that?”
Again the little boy nodded.
He continued, “And when I call you off the ice so that another boy gets a chance to play, it’s not good sportsmanship to call your coach ‘a dumb a–hole’, is it?”
Again the little boy nodded.
“Good,” said the coach. “Now go over there and explain all that to your mother.”
*****
At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old hockey players aside and asked, “Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?”
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
“Do you understand that what matters is not whether we win or lose, but how we play together as a team?”
The little boy nodded yes.
“So,” the coach continued, “I’m sure you know, when a penalty is called, you shouldn’t argue, curse, attack the referee, or call him a pecker-head. Do you understand all that?”
Again the little boy nodded.
He continued, “And when I call you off the ice so that another boy gets a chance to play, it’s not good sportsmanship to call your coach ‘a dumb a–hole’, is it?”
Again the little boy nodded.
“Good,” said the coach. “Now go over there and explain all that to your mother.”
Rapira Swedish Supersteel
Fitness
Lijun badger
Gillette 1948-1950 Super Speed
Fitness
Lijun badger
Gillette 1948-1950 Super Speed
Re: Joke of the Day
If you like proverbs, you'll enjoy this story: The Proverbial Murder Mystery.GA Russell wrote: ↑Fri Feb 15, 2019 7:00 pm I remember seeing Tony Randall discuss this concept with David Letterman. He said that for every famous shibboleth there is another one that says the opposite.
*****
(snip)
"Je n'ai pas besoin de cette hypothèse."
Pierre-Simon de Laplace
Pierre-Simon de Laplace
- GA Russell
- Posts: 3070
- Joined: Fri Apr 11, 2008 10:15 pm
- Location: Raleigh, NC
Re: Joke of the Day
Thanks! I'll read that tonight.
*****
Thoughts To Ponder
How do "please keep off the grass" signs get there?
Who shuts the door when the bus driver gets off?
If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?
They say the truth will set you free. But then why is it that every time I tell the truth I get sent to my room?
*****
Thoughts To Ponder
How do "please keep off the grass" signs get there?
Who shuts the door when the bus driver gets off?
If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?
They say the truth will set you free. But then why is it that every time I tell the truth I get sent to my room?
Rapira Swedish Supersteel
Fitness
Lijun badger
Gillette 1948-1950 Super Speed
Fitness
Lijun badger
Gillette 1948-1950 Super Speed
Re: Joke of the Day
Chris, I laughed so hard I had tears, cursing the darkness. Thank you for that.
Gary
SOTD 99%: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, soaps & creams, synthetic / badger brushes, Colonial General razor, Kai & Schick blades, straight razors any time, Superior 70 aftershave splash + menthol + 444
SOTD 99%: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, soaps & creams, synthetic / badger brushes, Colonial General razor, Kai & Schick blades, straight razors any time, Superior 70 aftershave splash + menthol + 444
Re: Joke of the Day
Russ, this is why any kid with a sense of self-preservation answers, "Why did you do it?", with "I don't know."GA Russell wrote: ↑Sun Feb 17, 2019 11:47 am Thanks! I'll read that tonight.
*****
Thoughts To Ponder
How do "please keep off the grass" signs get there?
Who shuts the door when the bus driver gets off?
If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?
They say the truth will set you free. But then why is it that every time I tell the truth I get sent to my room?
- Murray