bad report from the doctor, ok to keep it a secret?

matt321 · Post by **matt321** » Sun Dec 11, 2011 11:50 am

My dear mother is in her 80's and is somewhat emotionally fragile.

My sister and brother are near my age and are both healthy.

I have aunts and uncles living in other States.

I have many close friends and neighbors.

So if I get a bad health report from the doctor, is it ok to keep it a secret?

churchilllafemme · Post by **churchilllafemme** » Sun Dec 11, 2011 12:14 pm

I personally think it's your right to share as much or as little as you wish. I don't think you "owe" it to family or friends to tell them everything, regardless of their wishes or emotional needs. When I was in medical practice, I frequently had patients share intimate personal details of their health, which they asked me not to tell their spouses. Relationships are complicated, as are health issues, and full disclosure is not always best.

brothers · Post by **brothers** » Sun Dec 11, 2011 3:20 pm

It would be such a personal decision, and if disclosed, to whom, for what reason, and when, over the course of time.

giammi · Post by **giammi** » Sun Dec 11, 2011 4:18 pm

Do as you feel is the best for you and your family and don't care about what other people might think.

The downside of not telling them is that they will not be able to give you support when you need some. And support from your family and friends can sometimes be a good medicine. But they should also respect those moments when you don't want to talk about your health issue or just be left alone to clear up your mind.

Wish you all the best.

function · Post by **function** » Sun Dec 11, 2011 4:50 pm

It is your health, and your discretion to share or not to share.

If you choose not to do anything about your condition(providing anything can be done), I reserve the right to judge you.

ShadowsDad · Post by **ShadowsDad** » Sun Dec 11, 2011 5:08 pm

Unless your personal health has become public health, do as you wish.

If it's something communicable that they need to know about for their health I think that would be important info for them to have. Otherwise? It's yours to with as you wish.

numcks · Post by **numcks** » Mon Dec 12, 2011 4:51 pm

You have to do what feels right. All I can say is whatever the report, I wish the best for you and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

fallingwickets · Post by **fallingwickets** » Tue Dec 13, 2011 11:27 am

No comment from me other than to say that whatever is wrong with you, I hope you have a speedy recovery

clive

Squire · Post by **Squire** » Tue Dec 13, 2011 12:17 pm

I've dealt with the same issues, both in my personal and professional life, and there is no clear answer.

Furrball2 · Post by **Furrball2** » Fri Jan 13, 2012 5:41 pm

I frequently tell patients that it is their information. However, I have seen families have more difficulty in dealing with a rapid decline since they had no idea anything, widely metastatic cancer, was going on. Then out of nowhere, the husband and father was transitioning to hospice.

jww · Post by **jww** » Fri Jan 13, 2012 6:14 pm

Squire wrote:...there is no clear answer.

+1

From your perspective it could be a bad thing to do -- depending on a bunch of things. From the perspective of your family, however, it could have other repercussions. I think that anything that could be in any way hereditary or genetic in nature may well warrant sharing with siblings, children, etc. But in the end it's your call. If I had a life threatening disease -- like cancer -- I would probably give the benefit of the doubt to my relations. If it was something chronic, perhaps less so.

brothers · Post by **brothers** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 5:18 am

Matt hasn't posted for a few weeks now. Matt, my friend, you're in my thoughts and prayers now. God bless!

dosco · Post by **dosco** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 5:40 am

brothers wrote:Matt hasn't posted for a few weeks now. Matt, my friend, you're in my thoughts and prayers now. God bless!

+1